Joey West
The Six Essential Features of the Business Golfer's Office

For the junior exec on the rise, it is essential to create a work environment that promotes efficiency, comfort and professionalism, and offers you plenty of room to groove your game. Your office should be a creative balance between work and golf, emphasizing your devotion to both. Care should be taken to give your office the appearance of your excellent work ethic even if in reality its main functions may be hiding from the boss, making tee times and practicing your swing or putting. Consider these suggestions.

1. Choose an office with a twelve-foot ceiling so you can enjoy an unobstructed swing.

2. Select carpeting that rolls like a putting green.

3. Buy a desk big enough to hide your golf bag beneath but not so big as to diminish your practice area.

4. Festoon your shelves with golf books, trophies and plaques, old tournament clubhouse passes, a collectible or two and an autographed photo of you and your favorite golf pro. A poster of one of those fantasy golf holes is a nice touch, too.

5. Get golf game and handicap computation software on your computer and install a "boss button" in case you're caught unawares.

6. Keep a change of clothes, training aids, astro-turf pad and other golf paraphernalia in the closet. If you don't have a closet, get a ready-to-assemble vestibule and don't forget to install a dead-bolt lock. Excerpted by permission from BIRDIES IN THE BOARDROOM: Golfing Your Way Up the Corporate Ladder by Joey West ($8 from JSA Publications; ISBN 0-929957-09-1). Available in most bookstores or by calling toll free 1-800-507-BOOK.

Short Putts:

Refrain:
What phrase is heard on the golf course at least as often as in the honeymoon suite?
"What am I doing wrong?"

Matchplay:
There's nothing worse than being three down on the 19th hole.

Bedchamber:
How is golf like sex?
No two times are ever the same.

Blind Pro's Criticism:
That's the worst swing I've ever heard.

Poor Sport:
A golfer who searches for a lost ball longer than a pirate searches for lost treasure.


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