Plugged In The Hazard Humorous Pro-Spectives On Golf
See Dick, See Dick Golf, See Jane Run
Dick was not just a runner. Early accounts of Dick indicate that he also went to school, went skipping with Jane, rummaged through the fallen leaves, played golf, played with his dog "Spot"and cleaned up his poop (Spot's poop, not his poop. There is no written account of Dick cleaning up his own ah forget it).
For the underprivileged who have never read a Dick And Jane reader, these literary masterpieces depict a young boy by the name of Dick, and his cute little friend, Jane, prancing around town doing all the cool things which kids used to like doing. These days, the Dick And Jane reader would go something like this
What many people don't realize is that a key chapter of the reader was never published. It was the chapter on Dick going golfing. Golf wasn't all that big when Dick and Jane were growing up so the editor had second thoughts and decided to "kill it" just before it went to print. A short time ago this chapter was discovered and it went like this
In reading this new found chapter it becomes apparent as to why the editor decided to leave it out of the finished manuscript. A few notes were scribbled down on the editor's rough draft of this chapter, indicating that a few potential problems were conceivable. For example, a few of the notes read "What kind of beer was Dick drinking? Did Dick buy a six pack? Was it a case of 24? Why isn't there a record of Dick throwing golf clubs? Surely Dick would have been throwing clubs if he had the shanks all day. It doesn't make any sense "
I'm a firm believer in teaching our kids to become respectable, responsible, and literate people. I agree with the editor's decision to exclude the chapter on golf. Perhaps a little more thought could have gone into the "golf chapter" so it would have been more believable. A sentence like "See Dick gawk at the hot chick on the beverage cart" would have fit in nicely. There is also no mention of other members in Dick's foursome. More character development in this area would have made the manuscript stronger. At any rate, I must get going now. It appears as if my five-year-old just beat my high score on my favorite video game, "Slaughter All The Bad Ninjas". I must seek revenge.