Plugged In The Hazard Humorous Pro-Spectives On Golf
The Local Rules of Golf
Life is full of dos and donts. Dont go faster than 100 M.P.H., dont do drugs, dont spit on the sidewalk, dont lob your bowling ball, dont pick your nose in public, etc. Dos would include: do good in school, do love your neighbor, do eat your vegetables, do carry a semi-automatic pistol, do mercilessly empty the clip on passing motorists as they cut you off, etc.
Growing up in the country you learn the rules quick. Or in my case, after a hoof in the teeth, setting the barn on fire, torturing rats (which is quite difficult), multiple wedgies, and quite a few good ol fashioned beatings, you slowly begin to catch on to a few of the local rules.
Ill never forget the day Willy, one of my elementary school buddies, showed up one morning with his eye black, blue, bloody and swollen shut. It was quite a site for a third grader. The girls screamed and ran away. They guys went, Ah ya! Awesome! Dude, that looks sooo cool! Poor Willy had taken a golf club right in the eye. In reality, it was really a sick sight, and thankfully, Willy made it through OK kind of. Hitting people in the eye with a six iron is blatantly disobeying an unwritten local rule which golfers need to adhere to.
The local rules at some golf courses offer the management or board of directors an opportunity to pass along some specific rules which are relevant to that particular course or geographic territory. For example, the following local rules may need to be incorporated at courses in the following regions.
Do yourself a favor and respect the local rules of the particular golf course where youre playing at. And whatever you do, dont hit into the group ahead of you while playing golf in L.A. Oh, and if you ever see a Paraguayan guy running around with a glass eye, thats likely my buddy Willy. You can say hi to him, but whatever you do, dont shake your six iron in front of his face - all youd see would be a cloud of smoke heading the direction of Paraguay.