The Pure Bull Putter:
Unique Flat Blade
will have you Rolling
with Laughs, and Putts
By Kiel T. Christianson,
ANY COURSE, USA - Imagine this scene: You and your golfing cronies are about to tee off on the first hole, and gamblers that you all are, the bets and side-bets are piling up. To the shock and amazement of your buddies (especially if you are a woman golfer), you pipe in, "I'll bet anyone $50 that I have the biggest penis on this course."
Sound like some demented cross between a bad porn film and a bad dream? Sounds like it's a bet you're not so sure you can win (especially if you are a woman golfer)? Well, a gentleman named (appropriately enough) Mark Studdert can just about guarantee that you will win this bet every time. And no, he doesn't sell pump-like devices imported from Sweden. Mr. Studdert produces the Pure Bull Peter Putter, a putter made with the reproductive organ of a bull wrapped around the club shaft from grip to clubhead.
Why, you may ask, would anyone want a putter made from a bull penis? Well, truth be told, it's an awful lot of fun to whip it out on the green and ask your playing partners what they think the oddly-shaped, maple-brown putter shaft is made from. It's even more fun to watch them quickly move their hands from the shaft to the professional, high-quality grip when you tell them what it is.
Most fun of all is when you sink a few putts with the club and realize that it actually works rather well. The only drawback is that the Peter Putter is a good bit heavier than non-organic ones, due to not only the impressive bovine member itself, but also the thick coat of shellac covering it. The result is a shaft that is actually heavier than the head (no puns intended this time).
And of course, you can use your Peter Putter to win any number of bets like the one described above, if you can get anyone to take you up on the bet (especially if you're a woman golfer). Just don't let your dog get to it, or your new club might end up as a giant beef jerky chew toy. To learn more about the Pure Bull Peter Putter, you can visit the Pure Bull Products website at www.purebull.com, email firstname.lastname@example.org, or phone 801-492-3700.