Coeur d'Alene Golf and Spa Resort in Idaho is offering a "Scotch Open Golf Package," which "allows golfers the opportunity to sample fine Scotch whiskey on the Resort Course and play as many golf holes as they wish from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m."

Select distilleries from Scotland will be at each of the par-3s helping to get the golfers snot-flying drunk.

This is a pretty swank place, where guests can take the custom, mahogany boat shuttles along the lake from the resort to the resort course, sit for a warmup sports massage and be "assisted" by a personal group forecaddie.

The Scotch Open tees off at 10 a.m. with a shotgun start.

They should substitute Rio Secco's bubbly, vivacious and bubbly "T-Mates" for their boring "personal group forecaddies" – for the ultimate golf package: Golf, sex, whiskey and firearms. Not necessarily in that order.

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