When you write a golf blog as pure as the first fresh snow like I do, you learn a few things along the way. This week for instance, I discovered that an American Idol hack named Taylor Hicks has a small band of overweight desperate housewives for fans who call themselves with much third-grade pride the Soul Patrol. These are the kind of people whose husbands always play 36 holes and never want to go home.

Probably because they'd be stuck hearing a Taylor Hicks CD when they got there (that's not a scratch, it's really his voice). And who can blame anyone for finding refuge from that?

These Soul Patrollers offend me on several levels. As regular readers know I'm a passionate Michelle Wie fan - a card carrying member of the group that proudly declares themselves Wie Warriors. (That's called an original nickname you Soul Patrol nitwits).

As such, the Soul Patrol goes against everything us Wie Warriors believe in. They worship a guy who's simply a propped up product of a well-oiled hype machine, someone who actually hasn't done anything of any significance. Taylor Hicks basically "won" America's biggest loser because he had gray hair and Idol wanted to expand its reach beyond pre teens.

In other words, Hicks is everything Wie Warriors - who value true results over fluff - despise.

He and his PR handlers even constructed a feel-good, change-the-world tale. Hicks told Jay Leno that Hurricane Katrina and fate brought him to American Idol (rather than just a bad haircut). His story is that he caught one of the last taxis out of New Orleans, drove 15 hours (no problem paying that fare on a "struggling" artist's dime) and arrived at an airport that offered him a free ticket anywhere in the U.S. He chose Las Vegas on a whim, there happened to be an Idol audition there and the rest is bad music history. (To read this tale, click here).

Now this is the kind of grandiose, I'm going to change the world yarn that our girl Michelle and her friends who happen to love swooshes would never try and spin. It'd be like a golfer declaring that she was going to revolutionize the game or something.

Worse yet, Taylor Hicks is reaching out for money in a most crass way. His own official Soul Patrol website has a link on it's front page, advertising that you can advertise on the site for "as low as $3 per day." Below that there's a Paypal link that lets you "support" the website. This is the kind of cheap commercialism that the Goddess of Good, Michelle, would never ever engage in.

Michelle doesn't care about the money. You think she'd just pimp some sparkly watch or something? Please. Never.

It's time for Wie Warriors to stand up as one and tell this Soul Patrol that we're not going to take the kind of irrational, fantasyland-based cheerleading behind this corporate creation Taylor Hicks. It's time to shout that substance matters.

Like with our girl Michelle. Take that Souless Ones.

You're at war with the Wie Warriors. May the Good Lord Of Bad Musicians help you.

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