Kiel Christianson: "The cart boy" is one swanky service I can do without

"The cart boy" is one swanky service I can do without

I'm sure some golfers love to be coddled. Love to have their clubs wiped and carried to the bag drop or car.

I, for one, cannot stand the obsequiousness of the cart boy. The reason is simple: Every time someone other than myself returns the cart, I lose something.

I recently played the TPC Deere Run in Sivis, Illinois, where first-rate service is standard. Before I could say, "Don't touch a thing on my bag or cart, and I'll still tip you," the fawning young lad was all over my stuff.

Sure enough, when I went to light my cigar during my second round of the day, my lighter was gone. I'm not accusing the cart boy of stealing anything, just rushing me. Hey, pre-round and pre-shot routines are crucial aspects of a good game, right? My post-round routine is to put everything back in place in a certain pocket in a certain order. Force me to jump for my wallet to fish out a tip, and the entire routine is shot to hell.

OK, enough with the kvetching and on to the GRATUITOUS MICHELLE WIE REFERENCE:

TPC Deere Run is the course, of course, where Michelle Wie suffered heat exhaustion and had to withdraw from the John Deere Classic. Course nearly killed her, or so we were led to believe.

Heck, it was 7 degrees hotter when I played, and the humidity was higher. There was a breeze on some holes during my round, however, and I did ride in a cart (notebook, camera, no caddie toting my clubs). On the other hand, I swung the club MANY more times than she did, and had played 36 holes the day before and another 18 following the TPC. So I'd say we were even.

And frankly, it wasn't that bad. Didn't dry-heave even once.

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