5. What happened to Tiger Woods? Four bogeys in six holes? As he walked off 18, caddy Stevie Williams mimed like he was going to snap Tiger’s putter in half. Maybe not the worst idea—it just cost him the 2006 Masters.

4. Did Jose Maria Olazabal's caddy not know that the cover-all he was wearing was supposed to cover his clothes, not his nakedness? We really didn’t need to see it unzipped to his waist, revealing all those mounds of chest hair. The '70s are over, dude.

3. Did Nike mix up their product shipment and send Michelle Wie’s shirts to Tiger? Enough pink, we want the old Sunday-red Tiger back.

2. Where’s Martha Burk when we need her? I don’t want to hear about the World According to Alan or Jane anymore, or how ExxonMobil makes the world a better place. Let’s run back the 2003 ad-free Masters instead.

1. And the number-one burning question: What is up with Phil’s hair? Is he going for Johnny Damon's old caveman look? It’s almost as disastrous as the 10 that Rocco Mediate posted on the par-3 12th! Yikes!

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