Vice-President Dick Cheney has always promised he'd shoot straight with the American people. He just didn't tell us it would be one at a time.

Cheney needs to replace his hunting hobby with golf. Golf clubs aren't loaded, and it's more humane to bring down a lawyer with a 5-iron than a shotgun.

More Republicans play golf, although it's true that lobbyists and energy insiders can be publicly identified easier on the golf course than they can in a duck blind.

Golf isn't nearly as violent as hunting, unless you try to photograph Tiger Woods without his caddie's permission.

I ask you: who is more fun to torture: a duck or a guy who's winning money off you on the golf course?

In golf, you can cherry-pick the intelligence you get from your caddie without starting global conflicts.

Just think about it, Dick: The press is easy to avoid on the golf course; most reporters can't pass the dress code, nor do they get preferred tee times.

You make a mistake in golf, you make a bogey. Big deal, join the crowd. You make a mistake in hunting, you critically wound an elderly lawyer and make yourself the national butt of every joke imaginable.

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