Golf News for Friday, October 28, 2005 | Daily Golf Blogs

Jennifer Mario: Jean van de Velde still crazy

So now Jean Van de Velde’s whining about the R&A’s recent rule change allowing women to play in the British Open. The famous Frenchman is so hot about it that he’s decided to apply to play in the Women’s Open next August.

“I’ll even wear a kilt and shave my legs,” he said. Comfortable with his feminine side, I guess? I suppose we all know what his legs look like, after we saw them displayed as he waded through Barry Burn at Carnoustie back in ‘99, before losing in a playoff.

“If we accept that women can enter our tournaments, then it applies that men can play with women.” Ah wait, but then there’s that whole logic thing. If they qualify, Juniors and Seniors can play in PGA events—does this mean PGA players should compete in Junior and Senior events? Oh that’s right “Junior” events have the word “Junior” in them. “British Open” doesn’t say anything about age or gender. Unlike, say, the “Women’s British Open.”

So tell us, Jean (by the way, that’s a girl’s name), back at Mont de Marsan High School, did you gripe when they didn’t let you play on the girl’s teams?

And why stop with the Women’s British Open? I mean, why not complain about not playing in:

The Senior Tour
The Nationwide Tour
The Nike Tour
The Hogan Tour
The Amateur Circuit
The Junior Circuit
Mont de Marsan High School Pom Pom Club
The Paris Preschool for Boys
The Paris Preschool for Girls
Your mom’s knitting club
Oprah’s book club (oh wait, I guess you are allowed to join that one if you really want)

I close with Jean’s own words: “I know we have an unfair advantage, so if we have an unfair advantage, let them play with themselves and let us play with ourselves.”

No punchline needed.

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