In keeping with managing editor Mark Nessmith’s directive to complain more, I’ve decided to outline my top golf peeves. Perhaps you can relate:

5. Loud talkers. They’re everywhere, including the golf course. Would it kill you to notice there’s someone putting out twenty paces away from you when you’re yukking it up on the next tee? At the SAS Championship a few weeks ago, I witnessed a disgruntled Bobby Wadkins, who was teeing off on the tenth, comment to a marshal, “go ask that guy over there if our game is disrupting his conversation.” So I guess I’m not the only one bothered by blowhards.

4. Sexism. Last week a round with my sister turned into a five-hour ordeal due to the two slugs in front of us. But at the turn, the fellas behind us (who’d been hitting into us all day) cut through while we grabbed a sandwich, explaining to the two slugs, “those girls back there were really slowing us down.” To their credit, the slugs set them straight: “uh, actually, they were waiting on us.” To their shame, they never let us play through.

3. Overly long holes. Yeah, I’m aware there are a few women out there who can drive the ball 250, but those women are a rare breed. So why design par-4’s that are longer than 400 yards from the reds? It just ain’t right.

2. By the same token, finding red tee markers on the white tee box. Gentlemen, how often do you find your markers back there next to the blacks? Ever? I didn’t think so. If greenskeepers want to mix things up for the day, they could try moving the whites up there next to our reds. Let the guys practice their short game, rather than make us ladies hit driver off the deck.

And the number-one peeve is…

1. Rules know-it-alls. You know, the woman in your group who casually wants to know how many penalty strokes you gave yourself on that OB, or the self-appointed rules expert who paces off your ball to see if he can catch you making an illegal drop, then waits until after you've signed your scorecard before turning you in, for maximum damage. Yeah, you know who you are.

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