Jeong Jang completed a wire-to-wire rout at the Weetabix Women’s British Open this weekend. Michelle Wie, who tied for third, obviously sucks.

I mean come on, Jeong Jang WON, didn’t she? She’s unarguably a far more gifted golfer—now and forever—than Wie, who is clearly all hype. Disagree and I will call you names.

Seriously, a real, live 15-year-old couldn’t hit a golf ball that far. Must be the hype. And we all know that hype can’t putt.

It’s all perfectly obvious.

Jang’s best finish in the same event prior to 2005 was a tie for 4th in 2002. Heads and shoulders above Wie’s third this year.

Moreover, Jang began golfing at the ripe old age of 13. She won the Korean Women’s Open at 17 as an amateur. Obviously, she’s better than the 15-year-old Wie, who has been golfing since she was four and still hasn’t ever won the Korean Women’s Open (hasn’t even entered it!).

Not to mention the height advantage. Wie’s over a foot taller than the diminutive Jang. Imagine what Jang could do with that extra height! Or maybe Wie’s too tall. That’s her parents’ fault, as well, actually.

Don’t let stats fool you: Wie finished ahead of Jang at every other major this year, but that was all in Wie’s marketing. She’s like the Wizard of Oz, for cripe's sake!

A win is all that matters. And Jang’s got one. Wie doesn’t.

So there. Now, on to my in-depth comparison of Warren G. Harding and a tuna melt sandwich...

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