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| What will Tiger Woods' retirement mean to pro golf? (Courtesy PGA of America) |
After he winds his way down the 18th fairway of Augusta in this year's Masters, Tiger Woods' epic chase for golf's most hallowed records will come to an end.
With rumors afloat that Woods' wife Elin will be giving birth to triplets, Tiger Woods will announce his retirement from competitive golf, say sources unwilling to be identified. A press conference is rumored to be scheduled for Friday.
"That's it, it's over," the source said April 1. "Tiger is moving on to full-time fatherhood and other challenges.
The source went on to say that there are rumors that Woods, who has been in the public eye since the age of three, has burned out on golf, and may even look to other sports as a way to unleash his legendary competitiveness.
"Tiger and Roger Federer have been spending a lot of time working on Tiger's tennis game," said the source. "Tiger's serve is already approaching the 125-mph range, so I wouldn't be surprised to eventually see him try to add a Wimbledon trophy to his golf accomplishments.
Woods will retire with at least 64 career PGA Tour victories and 13 major triumphs. At least one Woods fan claimed disbelief in the possibility of a PGA Tour without the venerable Tiger.
"This is the worst news I've ever heard," said Donald Trump. "Seriously, why in the hell would anyone want to watch the PGA now?"
Some anonymous sources have added that there are rumors that Woods will work full-time with teen sensation Michelle Wie, both as a tutor and golf coach.
"Tiger's been to Stanford and been at the top of golf," said the source. "Plus, if he worked with Wie, that would likely take care of his commitments to Nike."
The news of Elin's pending triplets was accidentally leaked on the television show "Oprah."
With Woods leaving the game, caddie Steve Williams has let it be known that he will stay in golf, but no longer as a looper. He will be accepting a position with Sports Illustrated as a golf photographer.
Aside from an eventual tennis career, work with Wie and a job as a father of four, Woods will also continue his work with his charity, The Tiger Woods Foundation, as well as work as a consultant for the Tavistock Group.
Woods could not be reached for comment, but someone who could have been a spokesman said "Dude, what are you on?" when asked about Woods' imminent retirement.
Nonetheless, the anonymous sources stand by their rumor.
"He's done. Face it, this will basically end golf as we know it," said the source. "But man, could it be good for tennis, or what?"
April 1, 2008
Where can you party Super Bowl-style, lay some cash on the big game and play a few rounds of golf? Las Vegas, of course. Sin City provides perhaps a better destination than even Miami for Super Sunday 2010. Many hotels offer weekend promotions that include tee times at premier courses.
... full article »
gdub wrote on: Jan 1, 2010
In view of Tiger's arrogance,I think he is perfect for a career change. First an image makeover, then a record deal with death row records; then get all 12 of his girlies and put them by the pool as he sings his gangsta rap hit, "I got it like that" Finally, a name change to T-woody
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bud brausen wrote on: Dec 11, 2009
first jfk,now this seems to be no hope left on this planet
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sergio wrote on: Apr 16, 2008
Joke or not, he is extremely arrogant and hostile and only cares about the money and nobody else.
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T LO wrote on: Sep 28, 2009
THE ONLY TYPE OF PERSON THAT SAYS GOOD RIDENCE IS AN INSECURE PERSON THAT CANNOT STOMACH REAL COMPETITION, AND IS REALLY OVIOUSLY NOT TRULY A REAL PROFESSIONAL GOLFER.
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Marjorie Taylor wrote on: Oct 1, 2008
Tiger is very sad about your opinion of him but wishes you well!
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george wrote on: Apr 14, 2008
I wish he would retire. His obnoxious behavior has done nothing for the game. The sport casters and newpapers protect him because of their "white guilt". Not to mention that even if he is twenty strokes behind he still gets front page news coverage with captions like "Tiger on the Prowl". I am sure many of the other professional golfers who would like to have one of those profitable endorsement contracts cannot even get an face time when Woods plays, even if they defeat him! He is dragging down golf and no one will says anthing against his vile antics because they will immediately be labelled a racist even though Woods himself does not push his black heritage. It's all the PC media's making.
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Brian wrote on: Dec 11, 2009
Tiger is famous for his accomplishments in golf and not for being Jesus Christ. He is not the first person to make a mistake and certainly won't be the last. But I guess for someone like you who has never sinned a day in your life or required forgiveness, it must be hard to comprehend. And all that talk of "White Guilt" come on. Why does it always have to resort to race. Regarding endorsements, businesses are profitable because they pay stars less than the stars generate. They won't be successful otherwise. Tiger brought people to the sport and he took his fair share of the revenue generated. If the other golfers you mentioned had that pulling power, believe you me, they would be getting those endorsements. I guess what you are trying to say is that he is an average golfer who only got the attention he got from the press because he was black - which made a good story. And by the way, no body, black or white would object to the press attacking Tiger, if what he did was so far removed from what men do everyday, all over the country. It is not right, but the fact is that topless bars would not exist if everyone was so squeeky clean. Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone. Well I guess that would be you, wouldn't it.
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spirit of competition wrote on: Dec 11, 2009
Wow, are you an idiot or what?
Tiger's behavior is no different than any other professional golfer out there. But do to his popularity, its caught on the media alot more. Is it wrong...i dont think so. Cause i'm not an Uptight, self-rightous do*che. Tiger's attitude has got nothing, I repeat, -NOTHING- on the attitude Mayweather has on boxing, and you dont see anyone rejecting the fact that he is one of the greatest athletes of our time.
And Tiger dragging down golf?! What?! are you insane? You do know that without Tiger having been in the scene, many of the mainstream would still not consider golfing a true sport right? He brought media and attention that golf has deserved for years. He's an icon.
and off topic, if I were Woods. I'd go up to every backstabbing fellow golfer who claimed to be 'friends' with Tiger at one point and mouth off about him when the situation was never any of their business...sellouts.
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Chip Shot wrote on: Apr 9, 2008
You obviously don't know Tiger. He would consider this quitting - and he's the farthest thing from a quitter. You guys have got to find some better material. Is it just me, or are there three times as many golf writers as there are stories?
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BobbyWomack wrote on: Apr 2, 2008
Surprise, surprise...Tiger is a typical golfer who curses when fans and photographers violate course rules. With all that's at stake, I don't blame any golfer for being pissed when they interfere.
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Norma wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
April Fools Day?
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jimmy velman wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
I agree on your article about Tiger's
arrogant behaviour on the golf course.
Cursing and uttering profanities within earshot of children is so rude, ungentlemanly that he and his golfer
buddies ought to be penalized for it.
I really dont care if he wins and becomes a top golfer if being on the top makes him a rude, expletive uttering idiot. He can be world's wealthiest golfer ,but if his utterings are disgusting, he does not deserve any honors and the fans ought to just desert him.
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spirit of competition wrote on: Dec 11, 2009
Uhhh...
You're wrong...
You're really really wrong.
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Starr wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
Good one! Loved it! I just hope it doesn't make Tiger swear in front of his child...
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Rosemary Burbaum wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
All a bunch of bull----!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Nancy Callahan wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
I was devastated when I read your article. I had forgotten what day is was. What a relief...
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John E. Molinari wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
Tiger's reaction to an unexpected interruption is nothing new. Professional golfers have been reacting negatively to poor manners by fans and the media and to their own poor play since the beginnings of golf. Ted Ray, one of the best professional golfers of his era, frequently threw a club and uttered unprintable comments when his performance was adversly affected by what he perceived to be fan misbehavior or as a result of his own poor play. That took place during the 1913 US Open at the Country Club at Brookline Mass.
Tiger's actions are not new or unexpected. They are just reported more frequently.
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Dave wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
Could this be true...on Aprils Folls day too?
I doubt it!
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Orca wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
Good April Fool's prank
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coby wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
omg....not funny at all....down right scarey
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BackAlleyBarney wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
I wish that he would quit...he is a disgrace to the game of golf....no class or self-control...and doesn't even care apparently. Did I mention that he has no class whatsoever? Yes I did, but it's worth repeating.
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Stone wrote on: Apr 2, 2008
BackAlleyBarney: What a goof!!
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youdon'tneedtoknow wrote on: Apr 1, 2008
What is your probem are you mental. Without Tiger golf would never have achieved what it has. the golf industry needs him or there id no fedex cup.
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don glover wrote on: Dec 5, 2009
give me a break...he's not quitting until he owns all the records.thats more important to him than money now
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Craig wrote on: Apr 17, 2008
WOW! All the Tiger haters out there are ignorant morons. Have you played golf before? Do you understand the game of golf? Golf isn't a game you can ever master. Of course people are going to be frustrated over a poor shot. I'd be pissed if I played the game on a daily basis and still had a tough time hitting certain shots. Give the guy a break. He's Tiger! He's changed the face of golf this century.
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