 COMMENTARY The grass is always
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Whether or not it was actually the great Irish writer who penned the words we will never know – but what is indisputable is that whoever said it hit on a certain something.
In addition to our differences in pronunciation, spelling and use of words such as pants, purse and butt, it would appear as individuals we often want different things.
And golf is no different.
Americans it would seem desire the opportunity to pit their wits against the elements on traditional links courses such as those found on the coasts of England, Ireland, Wales and of course Scotland.
This will undoubtedly involve the purchase of a full, insulated set of waterproofs tested by the Royal Navy at depths of up to 100ft.
Standing on the tee, the visiting golfer turns to face the elements and takes on the countenance – and to all intents and purposes the overall appearance -- of a deep sea fisherman rounding the Cape of No Hope.
In addition he will require traditional farming implements dating back to the time of the feudal system in order to retrieve lost balls from undergrowth that could still reveal as yet undiscovered tribes of pint-sized Anglo-Saxons.
Your average Brit on the other hand, sees the first sign of winter – which is generally the second day of an English summer – and sets his heart on travelling to the southern states of the USA or similar destination.
Here, shorts can be worn all day; fairways and cookie-cutter greens are manicured to the Nth degree; and rough is restricted to a height where it is possible still to see somebody over the height of 5ft 10ins.
And the differences don’t end there.
As a person of some girth, to whom a round of 18 undulating holes is the equivalent of a day in the gym, I delight in the ability to use a golf cart. While many newer courses over here offer them, it is not uncommon for the half-dozen or so at the club to be taken by a corporate day leaving me with just a sodden bag and a decrepit trolley for company.
In your neck of the woods, however, clubs tend to have fleets the size of the French Navy – only more active -- and one is seldom forced to walk.
And from a purely sexist point of view – and I apologise to our many female readers at this point – I have been quite struck with the cart girls on our sister site badgolfer.com.
We’re lucky if we get a grizzled old greenkeeper topping up the water in the ball cleaners, let alone a trolley dolly touting a cold Bud.
And the courses…the courses just look beautiful.
Courses of all ages can be stunningly designed, for design means different things in different arenas.
Many of the classic British links courses are stunning in their design because they look so natural, so undisturbed. As if God had simply taken 18 greens and a few pot-hole bunkers and sprinkled them along a piece of rugged coastline.
American parkland courses on the other hand are beautiful for other reasons: The colour, the streamlining, the sheer immensity of some of the backdrops, the vastness of fairway and green and the perfectly-formed water hazards and sand traps.
And that’s just the aesthetics, let alone the practical side of playing the thing.
So while you are hankering for tradition, mashie niblicks, Old Tom Morris and St Andrews, bear in mind that many of us would willingly trade for a few weeks at your local course.
It seems the green may be actually greener on the other side after all.
Any opinions expressed above are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the management. The information in this story was accurate at the time of publication. All contact information, directions and prices should be confirmed directly with the golf course or resort before making reservations and/or travel plans.
