Long-time followers of this blog are well aware that I, William K. Wolfrum, have a nearly encyclopedic knowledge of all things golf. For years, I have taken this incredible knowledge for granted, but now I have decided to do something about it, by creating “Wolfrum Alpha” the newest and most important golf blog research tool in the history of humankind.
Wolfram Alpha is the first step in an ambitious, long-term, slightly insane project to make all systematic golf knowledge immediately computable by anyone. All you need to do is input a golf question into the comment field below, and my built-in algorithms will compute the answer.
For example:
Q: Who won the 1938 Masters?
A: I don’t know.
You see, all you have to do is ask! Sure, most of the time I won’t have the correct answer, or will just make something up full cloth, or just ignore the question entirely, but that’s part of the fun. Let’s try another example:
Q: What is Tiger Woods true first name?
A: Eldrick.
See, I knew that one, and was able to give the correct answer. That is the beauty of Wolfrum Alpha - sometimes it will be correct! One more example:
Q: What is Jack Fleck best known for?
A: Jack Fleck was a U.S. general in the Revolutionary War. His brave men helped win the battle of San Francisco.
Ok, I wasn’t sure of the answer to that, so I just made something up. Can’t you see the value of that? I sure can.
So folks, enjoy Wolfrum Alpha. It promises to be the most important tool ever for golf bloggers and golf fans. Of course, it’s no “Wolfram Alpha,” but we’re getting there.
–WKW
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Why didn't it just say "I don't know"?
A:
A: What didn't she say?