Dear Members of Congress,
I write to you not in my own self-interest, but with a clear vision of the larger picture. As you discuss the bailout of the U.S. financial industry, I ask that you take a moment to think about what type of bailout you can offer my golf blog.
You see, due a string of bad investments and narcissism, this blog faces a liquidity crisis of a historical nature. Many trace the financial unrest of this blog to April, when I stubbornly picked Sergio Garcia to win the Masters. While this may or may not be true, it certainly didn’t help matters nor enhance my reputation.
So, right now, this golf blog is in a deep recession, from which only direct government interference (in the form of cash) can correct. The bailout of this golf blog needs to be a big one. Let me just throw a number out there - $7.4 million. That is not enough money to hurt the U.S., but it is also substantial enough to show that you mean business.
The liquidity crisis this golf blog is undergoing is already trickling down to other, prominent golf blogs. Take Chris Baldwin, for example. Unable to borrow from other blogs, Baldwin has written golf blogs over the past couple weeks that featured myself, and most recently, Jennie Garth. When Chris Baldwin completely loses relevance, you know the entire golf blogging industry is in grave danger.
I hope you can see where this is all going. Not bailing out my golf blog will send reverberations throughout the entire golf blog community. There is no time for debate, there is only time for action. Send me the money I need to get my blog liquid again, or risk alienating a strong and loyal voting block - occasional golf blog readers.
Thank you for your time on this matter.
–WKW
WorldGolf.com's William K. Wolfrum blogs about everything in the world of golf and travel, including Michelle Wie, Lorena Ochoa, Tiger Woods and other PGA and LPGA headlines. Plus, he offers the humorous and obscure in news, politics and pop culture.
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