K.J. Choi, Mike Huckabee could make 2008 a magical year for the faithful
When K.J. Choi ran away with the Sony Open to record his seventh career PGA Tour victory a couple thoughts ran through my head. First, it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. It’s great to see Choi’s success, as he truly is as good a person as he is a golfer.
The second was this: How much of the winner’s check would be donated to his church? Choi, you see, is a devout Christian. And a world-class tither. When Choi won the 2005 Greensboro Classic, he donated 10 percent of his $900,000 paycheck to a North Carolina Korean Presbyterian Church he frequented while in the area. In Presbyter circles, Choi is a hero.
Of course, one would expect that Choi’s career would skyrocket even more if Mike Huckabee is elected President. Huckabee, a theocrat who has seemingly lied about his bariatric surgery, among other things, has made it clear that the U.S. Constitution doesn’t hold a candle to his God.
“I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution,” Huckabee told a Michigan audience on Monday. “But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that’s what we need to do – to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view.”
This is great news for the droves of Americans who desire little more than to live in the 1500s. With a former Baptist minister like Huckabee in command, silly concepts like “separation of church and state” will be forever banished and ordinary sins, like say, masturbation, will be considered a felony. It will be an orderly, non-masturbating society, and very likely Paris Hilton will be hung for being a witch.
Now, while I’m not sure if Baptisters and Presbyters get along, one would assume that Choi could truly thrive under a Huckabee administration. Most believe that Choi is very likely to win a major golf tournament at some point. If he’s able to do it in 2008, it’s quite possible that Huckabee would reward him with a Cabinet position, regardless of the fact that he’s a South Korean citizen. And one would expect that Aaron Baddeley would get some Presidential notice himself, as well as the many other overtly Christian golfers on the PGA Tour.
So for the faithful, 2008 could be a banner year. You can finally have a President who will talk about religion outright, rather than in dog whistle style, and the PGA Tour could be disbanded to give way to the Christian Golfers Association. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but at very least Huckabee isn’t a Scientologist.
Of course, it’s a longshot that Huckabee will win, as shockingly, a majority of Americans don’t base their vote on religion. But even should a heathen Democrat win in 2008, at least you can be safe in the knowledge that K.J. Choi really is a nice guy. And reportedly, so is Huckabee. Nice for a guy that wants to exchange the Constitution for the New Testament, that is.
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I realize that you were trying to be funny (the operative word is "trying"), but when it's a matter of politics, people need to get facts, not fiction.
You should be ashamed.
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