Punch Russell Crowe in the head with proposed Golf Blog Contest!
Thursday January 3, 2008 | 07:37:24 am 390 words, 3252 views
Ok, I’m pretty sure you’re all with me on this. Russell Crowe is an annoying idiot. So, that fact has been created, and now exists, and cannot be argued about.
So, what I am proposing to you the reader, as well as to big-shot WorldGolf.com management, is to have a golf tournament. One lucky WG reader vs. Russell Crowe. The winner gets to punch the loser square in the head. Think about that. Winning a golf tournament and celebrating by belting Russell Crowe and getting him to shut the hell up about “finding inner peace,” and, “It’s an art form that requires discipline, that’s why I took up Ninja Training,” and all the other nonsense he spouts, much of it about some band he’s supposedly in like he’s some clone of John Lennon, Robert DeNiro and Vic Toweel.
Well I’m just not having it. So we need a WG golfer to step forth so we can issue this challenge. We need to find out if Crowe golfs, what his handicap is, and match him accordingly. We want this to be fair. It would take away some of the joy of whomping him.
We can hold this in Las Vegas, because you can do anything there. (Call now for a Las Vegas Golf Package at (866) 456-9912!)
This is all in the early negotiation stages mind you (Ok, this is the first I ever mentioned it), but I think we can get the winner of the contest a free trip and lodging in Vegas for the deal. And probably a bunch of other cool stuff. Provided they win. Because if you lose, you don’t get anything but punched by Russell Crowe. Because you lost to Russell Crowe.
But we aren’t going in this lose, people. Someone out there will get the chance to obliterate Russell Crowe on the golf course, and then punch him in the face in front of a national televised crowd for a special show I’m putting together called “Watch Russel Crowe Get Punched in the Face - Live!”
And here’s the thing, he’d probably be into it. He’s Russell Crowe for God’s sake. He doesn’t know what’s right for him. He reads off cue cards and gets multiple takes. He’d do it, you watch.
Wow, how I hate Russell Crowe. Let’s all come together and make this happen.
–WKW
Comments, Pingbacks:
Comment from: Kristen [Visitor] · http://www.thegolfchick.com
I hereby step forth. Wouldn't you love to see him get whomped by a chick?
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01/03/08 @ 13:43
Comment from: Cindy [Visitor]
Is this supposed to be funny? satire? because it's neither. I'd say that you, Willie, are the idiot, but maybe not. You mentioned Russell Crowe so obviously you'll be getting lots of hits for one of the most inane bits I've ever read.
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01/03/08 @ 14:01
Comment from: EmilyWatson [Visitor]
You actually get paid to write this kind of crap?
And you think someone other than yourself is an idiot? You've just proven yourself to be far worse as a person than Russell Crowe and possibly even Mel Gibson. So why not offer yourself up for the smack in the head?
And you think someone other than yourself is an idiot? You've just proven yourself to be far worse as a person than Russell Crowe and possibly even Mel Gibson. So why not offer yourself up for the smack in the head?
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01/03/08 @ 14:26
Comment from: Jo [Visitor]
Why are you so sure all of us are "with you" on this? You are so far wrong regarding this matter as to be beyond words to express the vastness of the degree of the wrongness. But, you are obviously entertaining yourself...though not the rest of us, who are not entertained. Please see a doctor soon.
Jo
Jo
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01/03/08 @ 15:08
Comment from: Luminella [Visitor] [Visitor]
It is perfectly clear to me that it's the writer of this article who is the IDIOT! Perhaps a punch to YOUR head would remedy YOUR current mental status, which is comatose!
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01/03/08 @ 15:23
Comment from: Bejay [Visitor]
Unlike you, mate, Russell Crowe is fiercely intelligent,doesn't need 'idiot cards' or multiple takes, and doesn't need to slag people off to get attention.
Hate is a strong word. How can you hate someone you have obviously never met? I'm with Jo...you need help...soon
Bejay
Hate is a strong word. How can you hate someone you have obviously never met? I'm with Jo...you need help...soon
Bejay
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01/03/08 @ 15:24
Comment from: Ron Mon [Member]
What kind of a username is Bejay...did the filters miss that one?
"But we aren't going in this lose, people." Is this English?
Back off, chicks! We're just men, measuring our wieners. Russell Crowe and all his consonants are going down!
"But we aren't going in this lose, people." Is this English?
Back off, chicks! We're just men, measuring our wieners. Russell Crowe and all his consonants are going down!
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01/03/08 @ 20:07
Comment from: Elise [Visitor]
Ron Mon said, "Back off, chicks! We're just men, measuring our wieners."
There we have it by his own admission Penis envy. They just can't take an example of what a real man should be.
If size is that much of an issue boys there is corrective surgery for that.
There we have it by his own admission Penis envy. They just can't take an example of what a real man should be.
If size is that much of an issue boys there is corrective surgery for that.
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01/03/08 @ 22:34
Comment from: Jo [Visitor]
Quote:
"Back off, chicks! We're just men, measuring our wieners. Russell Crowe and all his consonants are going down!"
As I said. Please see a doctor soon. He might be able to find your for you, possibly with the use of a microscope. But one would not expect even that to produce evidence of a brain.
All this smacks of midget male jealousy over an alpha. Tsk tsk tsk! Might I suggest matchbox cars or some crayons rather than blogging for a hobby?
"Back off, chicks! We're just men, measuring our wieners. Russell Crowe and all his consonants are going down!"
As I said. Please see a doctor soon. He might be able to find your for you, possibly with the use of a microscope. But one would not expect even that to produce evidence of a brain.
All this smacks of midget male jealousy over an alpha. Tsk tsk tsk! Might I suggest matchbox cars or some crayons rather than blogging for a hobby?
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01/03/08 @ 22:34
Comment from: Luminella [Visitor]
You guys really crack me up! Manhood comes from within. If you are truly a real man, you know it in the very depths of your soul, the size of your weiner has nothing to do with it. But, the fact that you all have to go around feebly attempting to prove your manhood in such immature, and profoundly stupid ways is proof that you are not men at all, never have been, and never will be!
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01/03/08 @ 23:43
Comment from: Bejay [Visitor]
Quote
"What kind of a username is Bejay...did the filters miss that one?"
It happens to be my name "Ron Mon" Can't your brain come up with a more intelligent response than to make fun of people you don't know? Wait a minute, you wouldn't be siding with Mr Wolfrum if that were a possibility would you!
"What kind of a username is Bejay...did the filters miss that one?"
It happens to be my name "Ron Mon" Can't your brain come up with a more intelligent response than to make fun of people you don't know? Wait a minute, you wouldn't be siding with Mr Wolfrum if that were a possibility would you!
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01/04/08 @ 06:35
Comment from: Shane [Visitor] · http://www.dakodadowd.com
Can't we all just play golf to have fun?
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01/04/08 @ 09:30
Comment from: Kipper [Visitor]
I'm cracking up over the remarks being fired at William. It's going to be all fat and lonely 40 to 50 year old female Russell Crowe fans hoarding in for the kill. They don't like seeing their sex idol being criticized for anything and something this vitriolic is likely to send them all into a tailspin and manic protection frenzy that will fill up comments here faster than ever before! Watch for fangs and more idiocy as they trample in making fools of themselves. Its better than going to the movies!
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01/04/08 @ 09:31
Comment from: GW Bush [Visitor]
Man, sounds like a bunch of you broads need to get laid or something...
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01/04/08 @ 12:32
Comment from: GW Bush [Visitor]
Quote:
"It happens to be my name"
Dude, your name is BeeJay?!
"It happens to be my name"
Dude, your name is BeeJay?!
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01/04/08 @ 12:33
Comment from: member of the Royal and Ancient [Visitor]
http://www.wideworldofgolf.com/russellcrowe.html
Check the above link Mr Wolfrum. Apparently Russell Crowe is man enough to be witty and self-deprecating about his golfing prowess (despite his family ties to the golfing world!)
Say, why don't you extend your challenge to his cousins Jeff or Martin instead.... ;)
Check the above link Mr Wolfrum. Apparently Russell Crowe is man enough to be witty and self-deprecating about his golfing prowess (despite his family ties to the golfing world!)
Say, why don't you extend your challenge to his cousins Jeff or Martin instead.... ;)
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01/04/08 @ 12:56
Comment from: member of the Royal and Ancient [Visitor]
More on the Crowe family golfing connection:
"Jeff Crowe, a three handicap, is a Florida resident and native of New Zealand, where he played cricket internationally as a professional for 10 years on the New Zealand national team. Traveling the world over, Crowe developed a deep passion for the game of golf by visiting courses with each stop on his cricket tours. He also spent time in front of the camera as a television sports commentator and is still the operator of a golf travel and event business in New Zealand."
Sounds like quite an athletic family, no?
"Jeff Crowe, a three handicap, is a Florida resident and native of New Zealand, where he played cricket internationally as a professional for 10 years on the New Zealand national team. Traveling the world over, Crowe developed a deep passion for the game of golf by visiting courses with each stop on his cricket tours. He also spent time in front of the camera as a television sports commentator and is still the operator of a golf travel and event business in New Zealand."
Sounds like quite an athletic family, no?
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01/04/08 @ 13:21
Comment from: Liz [Visitor]
Was this somehow supposed to be "funny" ? Well, you lost me. Russell Crowe doesn't deserve to be bashed and you obviously have never seen him on Leno or other talk shows. He's articulate,intelligent, and he certainly doesn't go around spouting crap like you've just written. Why not pick on Kiefer Sutherland, or Jack Nicholson or Haile Berry,or some of those other Hollywood "stars" who drink and drive.
Oh wait. They are American.
Oh wait. They are American.
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01/04/08 @ 13:38
Comment from: I Hear A Symphony [Visitor]
Kipper,
If I didn't know better, I'd swear that we've met somewhere before. LOL!
If I didn't know better, I'd swear that we've met somewhere before. LOL!
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01/04/08 @ 13:54
Comment from: Giblet [Visitor]
I like Crowe's acting and enjoy his movies but that doesn't change the fact that I'd like to punch him in the head.
You know; step back about ten feet, run at him, put everything into a straight-armed jab, and break my wrist in ten places, watching my now-pointy ulna and radius bones burst through his cheek and pop out beside his nose.
That would be kinda cool and I'd be an instant YouTube hit.
If you get him to agree and get him to sign my cast, then sign me up.
You know; step back about ten feet, run at him, put everything into a straight-armed jab, and break my wrist in ten places, watching my now-pointy ulna and radius bones burst through his cheek and pop out beside his nose.
That would be kinda cool and I'd be an instant YouTube hit.
If you get him to agree and get him to sign my cast, then sign me up.
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01/04/08 @ 14:25
Comment from: Judge Smails [Visitor]
You ladies just prove that Arthur Schopenauer was correct when he wrote about the childishness of women. Wolfrum writes this piece tongue-in-cheek, and you receive it like it's actually a serious personal attack.
Here's a clue: Men roll with the punches. They can deride each other, give each other shots, understand that it's all in fun and act like buddies ten minutes later. They won't hold grudges for 20 years.
That's the difference, ladies, between maturity and childishness. In other words, the one who doesn't goof around isn't mature; that person just has no sense of humor. An enlightened mind understands humor well.
Now, think about characteristic female traits and you'll understand what the state of most women is.
Here's a clue: Men roll with the punches. They can deride each other, give each other shots, understand that it's all in fun and act like buddies ten minutes later. They won't hold grudges for 20 years.
That's the difference, ladies, between maturity and childishness. In other words, the one who doesn't goof around isn't mature; that person just has no sense of humor. An enlightened mind understands humor well.
Now, think about characteristic female traits and you'll understand what the state of most women is.
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01/04/08 @ 14:37
Comment from: Liz [Visitor]
"You ladies just prove that Arthur Schopenauer was correct when he wrote about the childishness of women"
No, Sir.
The childishness I see here belongs entirely to men. And I don't elevate it by pretending it's "tongue in cheek".
No, Sir.
The childishness I see here belongs entirely to men. And I don't elevate it by pretending it's "tongue in cheek".
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01/04/08 @ 22:10
Comment from: kcsusan [Visitor]
My oh my what pitiful remarks. Russell Crowe may have a temper, and in the moment reacts when push comes to shove. He is human after all and I'd say his good traits far outnumber his bad traits. He is extremely talented, has a solid marriage, two beautiful sons. He does many good deeds that go unreported by the media, like donating a swmimming pool so quite a few children in Austrailia have a fun place to visit. He also donated a first aid station staffed with medical personnel and a helicopter to take injured or sick people living in the outback to the hospital where no service existed before. He donated to Habitat for Humanity after Hurricane Katrina.
Find somebody else who really deserves a shilacking. I'd rather go after the man in Missouri who killed his own two children, the violent reaction to his wife getting custody in a divorce hearing. How about outrage at the HMO who let a young woman die because they would not allow a liver transplant until the day she died. Many deserving incidents that merit a physical reaction. Russell Crowe provides wonderful entertainment year after year. He has already been punished by Hollywood in their obvious snubb for an Oscar Nomination after a brilliant performance in Cinderella Man, a role that showcased the heart and soul of a truly good man, one of the greatest generation James J. Braddock. All your tirade and thinking everyone hates Mr. Crowe and wants to knock his block off, need to stop listening to the media and examine the real man, his talent, devotion to family, a real man of good principals and moral compass. That is the Russell Crowe that is for real.
Find somebody else who really deserves a shilacking. I'd rather go after the man in Missouri who killed his own two children, the violent reaction to his wife getting custody in a divorce hearing. How about outrage at the HMO who let a young woman die because they would not allow a liver transplant until the day she died. Many deserving incidents that merit a physical reaction. Russell Crowe provides wonderful entertainment year after year. He has already been punished by Hollywood in their obvious snubb for an Oscar Nomination after a brilliant performance in Cinderella Man, a role that showcased the heart and soul of a truly good man, one of the greatest generation James J. Braddock. All your tirade and thinking everyone hates Mr. Crowe and wants to knock his block off, need to stop listening to the media and examine the real man, his talent, devotion to family, a real man of good principals and moral compass. That is the Russell Crowe that is for real.
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01/04/08 @ 23:24
Comment from: Aussie [Visitor]
This is not a battle of the sexes. It's a humor column although humor is a pretty subjective thing. No need for either the Crowe fans or the male regulars to attack each other. It's just an Internet column. Any of you can create your own blog and probably get as many readers. Don't waste your energy on all this negativity.
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01/05/08 @ 07:45
Comment from: Judge Smails [Visitor]
Liz,
You just proved my point. Even after a man who knows better tells you, you still don't get it.
By the way, not only was it tongue-in-cheek, it was also designed to evoke a response; that's what journalists do.
Congratulations, you took the bait. Sucker!
You just proved my point. Even after a man who knows better tells you, you still don't get it.
By the way, not only was it tongue-in-cheek, it was also designed to evoke a response; that's what journalists do.
Congratulations, you took the bait. Sucker!
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01/05/08 @ 12:24
Comment from: Luminella [Visitor]
I AM finding this funny! Hilarious even!
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01/05/08 @ 18:17
Comment from: Mona [Visitor]
aint technology jes wunnerful...you can trashem and hide behind a computer screen..punch that keybord baby.c'mon..hammer thar sucker and then go whack off in the corner..you'll feel al0ot better.
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01/06/08 @ 09:38
Comment from: Mona [Visitor]
aint technology jes wunnerful...you can trashem and hide behind a computer screen..punch that keybord baby.c'mon..hammer thar sucker and then go whack off in the corner..you'll feel alot better.
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01/06/08 @ 09:39
Comment from: Dennis [Visitor]
" He does many good deeds that go unreported by the media, like donating a swmimming pool so quite a few children in Austrailia have a fun place to visit. He also donated a first aid station staffed with medical personnel and a helicopter to take injured or sick people living in the outback to the hospital where no service existed before. He donated to Habitat for Humanity after Hurricane Katrina. "
Well if you know all that then it was reported in the media! If he does plenty of good stuff that doesn't get reported, then it's fair to assume that he also does more bad stuff too that doesn't get reported.
Well if you know all that then it was reported in the media! If he does plenty of good stuff that doesn't get reported, then it's fair to assume that he also does more bad stuff too that doesn't get reported.
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01/07/08 @ 08:07
Comment from: Stylo [Visitor]
"Russell Crowe does a lot of good deeds that don't get reported in the media?" You go on to list them one by one. I've read about all those things. Someone must be sending press releases to the newspapers. Where did YOU hear about them?
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01/07/08 @ 13:09
Comment from: William Wolfrum [Visitor]
i dont apreciate u people talking bout me this way screw all of u I hate my job my boss is an jerk
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02/02/08 @ 01:09
Comment from: Spartan 117 [Visitor]
willy grow a willy an get help for god sake stop having it wit ur mom u fag
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02/02/08 @ 01:13 Leave a comment:
William K. Wolfrum
a WorldGolf.com Blog
WorldGolf.com's William K. Wolfrum blogs about everything in the world of golf and travel, including Michelle Wie, Tiger Woods and other PGA and LPGA headlines. Plus, he offers the humorous and obscure in news and pop culture, including the infamous Golfer Supremacy Rankings.
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