Ok, I’m pretty sure you’re all with me on this. Russell Crowe is an annoying idiot. So, that fact has been created, and now exists, and cannot be argued about.
So, what I am proposing to you the reader, as well as to big-shot WorldGolf.com management, is to have a golf tournament. One lucky WG reader vs. Russell Crowe. The winner gets to punch the loser square in the head. Think about that. Winning a golf tournament and celebrating by belting Russell Crowe and getting him to shut the hell up about “finding inner peace,” and, “It’s an art form that requires discipline, that’s why I took up Ninja Training,” and all the other nonsense he spouts, much of it about some band he’s supposedly in like he’s some clone of John Lennon, Robert DeNiro and Vic Toweel.
Well I’m just not having it. So we need a WG golfer to step forth so we can issue this challenge. We need to find out if Crowe golfs, what his handicap is, and match him accordingly. We want this to be fair. It would take away some of the joy of whomping him.
We can hold this in Las Vegas, because you can do anything there. (Call now for a Las Vegas Golf Package at (866) 456-9912!)
This is all in the early negotiation stages mind you (Ok, this is the first I ever mentioned it), but I think we can get the winner of the contest a free trip and lodging in Vegas for the deal. And probably a bunch of other cool stuff. Provided they win. Because if you lose, you don’t get anything but punched by Russell Crowe. Because you lost to Russell Crowe.
But we aren’t going in this lose, people. Someone out there will get the chance to obliterate Russell Crowe on the golf course, and then punch him in the face in front of a national televised crowd for a special show I’m putting together called “Watch Russel Crowe Get Punched in the Face - Live!”
And here’s the thing, he’d probably be into it. He’s Russell Crowe for God’s sake. He doesn’t know what’s right for him. He reads off cue cards and gets multiple takes. He’d do it, you watch.
Wow, how I hate Russell Crowe. Let’s all come together and make this happen.
–WKW
| « Golf Channel, Tilghman in rapid retreat after "Lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley" comment | Just how good a golfing day is Jan. 2? » |
Comment feed for this post
And you think someone other than yourself is an idiot? You've just proven yourself to be far worse as a person than Russell Crowe and possibly even Mel Gibson. So why not offer yourself up for the smack in the head?
Jo
Hate is a strong word. How can you hate someone you have obviously never met? I'm with Jo...you need help...soon
Bejay
"But we aren't going in this lose, people." Is this English?
Back off, chicks! We're just men, measuring our wieners. Russell Crowe and all his consonants are going down!
There we have it by his own admission Penis envy. They just can't take an example of what a real man should be.
If size is that much of an issue boys there is corrective surgery for that.
"Back off, chicks! We're just men, measuring our wieners. Russell Crowe and all his consonants are going down!"
As I said. Please see a doctor soon. He might be able to find your for you, possibly with the use of a microscope. But one would not expect even that to produce evidence of a brain.
All this smacks of midget male jealousy over an alpha. Tsk tsk tsk! Might I suggest matchbox cars or some crayons rather than blogging for a hobby?
"What kind of a username is Bejay...did the filters miss that one?"
It happens to be my name "Ron Mon" Can't your brain come up with a more intelligent response than to make fun of people you don't know? Wait a minute, you wouldn't be siding with Mr Wolfrum if that were a possibility would you!
"It happens to be my name"
Dude, your name is BeeJay?!
Check the above link Mr Wolfrum. Apparently Russell Crowe is man enough to be witty and self-deprecating about his golfing prowess (despite his family ties to the golfing world!)
Say, why don't you extend your challenge to his cousins Jeff or Martin instead.... ;)
"Jeff Crowe, a three handicap, is a Florida resident and native of New Zealand, where he played cricket internationally as a professional for 10 years on the New Zealand national team. Traveling the world over, Crowe developed a deep passion for the game of golf by visiting courses with each stop on his cricket tours. He also spent time in front of the camera as a television sports commentator and is still the operator of a golf travel and event business in New Zealand."
Sounds like quite an athletic family, no?
Oh wait. They are American.
If I didn't know better, I'd swear that we've met somewhere before. LOL!
You know; step back about ten feet, run at him, put everything into a straight-armed jab, and break my wrist in ten places, watching my now-pointy ulna and radius bones burst through his cheek and pop out beside his nose.
That would be kinda cool and I'd be an instant YouTube hit.
If you get him to agree and get him to sign my cast, then sign me up.
Here's a clue: Men roll with the punches. They can deride each other, give each other shots, understand that it's all in fun and act like buddies ten minutes later. They won't hold grudges for 20 years.
That's the difference, ladies, between maturity and childishness. In other words, the one who doesn't goof around isn't mature; that person just has no sense of humor. An enlightened mind understands humor well.
Now, think about characteristic female traits and you'll understand what the state of most women is.
No, Sir.
The childishness I see here belongs entirely to men. And I don't elevate it by pretending it's "tongue in cheek".
Find somebody else who really deserves a shilacking. I'd rather go after the man in Missouri who killed his own two children, the violent reaction to his wife getting custody in a divorce hearing. How about outrage at the HMO who let a young woman die because they would not allow a liver transplant until the day she died. Many deserving incidents that merit a physical reaction. Russell Crowe provides wonderful entertainment year after year. He has already been punished by Hollywood in their obvious snubb for an Oscar Nomination after a brilliant performance in Cinderella Man, a role that showcased the heart and soul of a truly good man, one of the greatest generation James J. Braddock. All your tirade and thinking everyone hates Mr. Crowe and wants to knock his block off, need to stop listening to the media and examine the real man, his talent, devotion to family, a real man of good principals and moral compass. That is the Russell Crowe that is for real.
You just proved my point. Even after a man who knows better tells you, you still don't get it.
By the way, not only was it tongue-in-cheek, it was also designed to evoke a response; that's what journalists do.
Congratulations, you took the bait. Sucker!
Well if you know all that then it was reported in the media! If he does plenty of good stuff that doesn't get reported, then it's fair to assume that he also does more bad stuff too that doesn't get reported.