Dear Tim Finchem, please conjure up a PGA Tour golf playoff for the Fall

Looking back, I now realize a simple truth: I was overly critical of the FedEx Cup playoffs. I must say, I regret making statements like:

“Wow, the FedEx Cup sure is contrived nonsense.”

Or:

“If you like contrived nonsense, you’ll love the FedEx Cup.”

And, of course:

“The FedEx Cup isn’t a millionth as newsworthy as one Britney Spears fart.”

Yeah, looking back, I was a little too hard on Tim Finchem’s grand scheme. Was it contrived? Sure. But it was something. And now that the FedEx Cup and Presidents Cup are gone, I realize how important it is to golf writers to have something to write about. because left to our own devices in a relatively golf-free environment, we become a group of morons.

To wit: Tim McDonald writing some random, off-the-wall stuff about Greg Norman:

“Norman hates shrimp on the barbie. His favorite dish is dog. He makes frequent trips to Vietnam to sate his appetite,” writes McDonald.

Or then there’s Chris Baldwin, writing about a baseball game that happened a week or so ago, then tacking “golf destination” to it, as if he’s fooling anyone:

“Baseball’s playoffs also give golfers even more of an excuse to stick around long after their round and rack up a bar bill that Peter O’Toole could appreciate,” writes Baldwin. And yeah, that’s right, he made a Peter O’Toole reference. Making obscure references to old-school actors with double-phallic names is comedy gold, I tell you.

Heck, even Geoff Shackleford, whom I’d always thought was the grown up in the room, is writing about Kenny G.

“Wow, and you thought the last Monday charity event you played in was a long day. Imagine 6 hours at Empire Lakes followed by a Kenny G concert?” writes Shackleford.

So Tim Finchem, help us golf writers out. Left to our own devices, we’re a flat-out mess. Can’t you put together the “KFC Fall Classic Playoff Cup” or the “Acme Amazing Autumn Golf Playoff"?

Just give us something to fill up the column inches during this time of the year. And I promise not to call it as contrived as a Rudy Giuliani mid-speech phone call from his wife.

–WKW