Pennsylvania politicians so impotent they can't get Paris Hilton to golf outing

When Paris Hilton walked out of county jail, she promised she’d be a new woman. Then she hit the party circuit and never looked back.

Pennsylvania Rep. Mike Sturla (D) saw this all take place and thought: “Wow, I can make this all work for me!” and he invited Hilton to take part in his fundraising golf tournament at Bent Creek Country Club, in Lititz, Pa.

The invitation that went out for the event said: “So put on some panties and let’s golf!”

“Hey, if I said ‘take off your panties,’ but I said ‘put them on,’ ” Sturla later told John Baer of the Philadelphia News.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that’s comedy, Pennsylvania politician style. It’s downright Dane Cook-ian. Even Sen. David Vitter ® winced.

What makes it all even funnier is that this was going on as 24,000 “nonessential” government workers were sitting at home, after a budget impasse - now resolved - shut down the Pennsylvania state government.

Oh yeah, and Hilton never showed up.

Oddly enough, another big story in the news in Pennsylvania was about a 1,500-pound wrecking ball that came loose from its crane and rolled nearly a mile, leaving the type of carnage in Meadville, Pa., as one would expect from a 1,500-pound wrecking ball rolling downhill.

Reached for comment, the wrecking ball said it was only trying out its new impression of the Pennsylvanian state government.

–WKW