American Golf Liberties Union (AGLU) decries usage of 'golf-ball-sized hail'

To: All media outlets, U.S. Congress, President George W. Bush, U.S. Supreme Court, Independent and unaffiliated Office of the Vice President.

Dear Sirs,

We at the American Golf Liberties Union (AGLU), as a protector of all that is right in golf and golf terminology, have had it brought to our attention that there are currently hate crimes being perpetrated against the most important and beloved item of our game - the golf ball.

We have been alerted to the hateful usage of the golf ball as a description of the size of hail by Golf Gear News blogger/podcaster Bruce Stasch.

The use of golf balls to describe dangerously large chunks of ice falling from the sky has gone on unabated for years, and the association of golf with such a destructive force has driven many from the game we so cherish.

We suggest you look at alternate descriptions for hail.

For huge hail:

Tony Snow testicle-sized hail.

Sam-Alexis-Woods-future-bank-account-sized hail.

Pentagon-need-for-a-decent-systems-guy-sized hail.

For small hail:

Ron-Paul-appreciation-of-non-white-people-sized hail.

U.S.-Congress-approval-sized hail.

Jason-Giambi-reputation-sized hail.

Pacman-Jones-common-sense-sized hail.

Fox-News-Iraq-War-coverage-sized hail.

When it’s not hailing at all:

Michael-Vick-soul-sized hail.
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The AGLU appreciate your time and attention to this matter.

–WKW