With Conservatives agog at the possibility of ushering in a new fictional President in the form of former lobbyist Fred Thompson, another pretend politician is laying down his own brand of carnage - on the golf course.

Fictional Deputy White House Communications Director Rob Lowe, participating in a charity golf match in Iowa, was horrified when one of his golf balls killed a goldfinch - Iowa’s state bird.

“It’s unbelievable. Only I could come here and kill the state bird,” reportedly said Lowe.

Lowe, who can not be considered a political candidate until his jowls make contact with his abdomen, ala Thompson, just sort of hit the wrong ball into the wrong area on the course and will not face any type of punishment for the incident.

On the bright side, however, by killing the bird, Lowe inadvertently did two things:

1. He helped the entire state of Iowa, which is evidently seeing its golf courses be totally overrun by wildlife, and;

2. He totally trumped real Vice-President Dick Cheney, who while actually trying to kill a bird, ended up shooting some old dude square in the face. And, as an added bonus to Lowe, it appears that, unlike Cheney, he never attempted to cover up the incident.

–WKW