Golfer Supremacy Rankings praise Zach Johnson and get Ryo

When Zach Johnson looks back at his breakthrough 2007 campaign on the PGA Tour, he’ll sigh contently as he remembers being the No. 1 golfer on the Golfer Supremacy Rankings. Because Zach knows what really matters.

We here at the GSR’s know what really matters, as well, and we’re wondering where Jesus was this weekend. Maybe he was in Japan, where a miraculous victory took place.

Golfer Supremacy Rankings

1. Zach Johnson
Comments: First of all, let us just say we think it’s faux outrageous that Jesus hasn’t been getting more credit for Johnson’s AT&T Classic. Following Johnson’s Masters triumph, his thanking of Jesus led to wild bands of atheists roaming streets, busting in windows, looting stores and causing general havoc. This time, no reports on Jesus’s work in winning the AT&T. We’re faux outraged, we tell you.

Nonetheless, very nice win by Johnson. This was a tournament where he was a definite favorite and, more than anything, he showed he could close the deal. We imagine he’ll learn the joy of winning a PGA Tour event outside of Georgia shortly.

2. Lorena Ochoa
Comments: This is what No. 1 players do, they win golf tournaments. Ochoa successfully defended her Sybase Classic title and gave yet another highlight to Christopher Vitiello and Jonathan Ochoa and their upcoming documentary on the young Mexican star.

3. Ryo Ishikawa

Comments: Ryo was right on as the 15 year old won the Japanese golf tour’s Munsingwear Open KSB Cup. Sankei Sports went even further, calling Ishikawa “More of a genius than Woods!” cried Sankei Sports as japan went completely nuts and anarchy prevailed momentarily following Ishikawa’s victory. With the win, Ishikawa shatters Seve Ballestero’s record for being the youngest to win on the Japanese tour.

“I want to play against the world’s best players. I want to be like Tiger Woods,” said Ishikawa after the event. Still, however much he wants to be like Tiger, there was no confirmation to the rumor that Ishikawa has now accepted millions to design a course in Dubai.

Random comparing-playing-golf-to-life-as-a-naval-graduate column: Colin Raunig, “Big Golf, Miniature Life Lessons”

Random Quote: “I believe vampires are the world’s best golfers. Their curse is that they never get to prove it.” – Tracey Morgan, “30 Rock".

–WKW