Golfer Supremacy Rankings: Masters can't compare to Really Old Lady Scoring Hole in One

Here at the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, we do things for the joy of the game. Whether a player is 20-under or 20-over, we’re willing to cheefully rank them.

So sure, we’re a little amazed at the level of discomfort displayed by golfers, writers and bloggers at the tough conditions at Augusta for the Masters. Sure, the scores were high and just securing pars was a battle, but get over yourselves.

In fact, we just did some research on the National Football League. In the NFL, it seems, huge men spend all their off time looking to get more huge, stronger and faster. Then, when the games come, they spend 60 minutes slamming into each other at full speed. Over and over and over again. And you know what, you’ll never hear them moan about how tough their sport can be as much as you heard them moan this last week at the Masters.

Joy of the game, even when you can’t birdie every other hole, is part of the Golfer Supremacy Rankings secret formula of herbs and spices. It would have been nice to see a little more of that over the weekend.

Golfer Supremacy Rankings

1. The Really Old Woman That Made a Hole in One
Comments: After a weekend of seeing the world’s best golfers stomp around, Really Old Woman Who Made a Hole in One (real name: Elsie McLean), showed us why we play the game in the first place. It’s an individual challenge, and the possibilities are endless. McLean knocked in her ace at Bidwell Park in Chico, Calif.

“I said, ‘Oh, my Lord. It can’t be true. It can’t be true.’ I was so excited. And the girls were absolutely overcome,” McLean said. “Well, everybody wants a hole-in-one and I said, ‘Why can’t I have a hole-in-one?’”

Congratulations to a golfer who truly loves this game.

2. Zach Johnson
Comments: Johnson, who will be staring in the lead role of the “Joaquin Phoenix Story” later this year, broke through big time with his Masters victory. It was a solid win for the man who missed the cut in his last three major attempts.

“I’m Zach Johnson, and I’m from Cedar Rapids, Iowa,” Johnson said. “That’s about it. I’m a normal guy.”

Not any more, Zach.

3. Bogeyman
Comments: The Bogey Lounge blogger earns this spot for the line of the tournament:

“Sorry Sanjaya, Jeev Milkha Singh is India’s Real Idol”

Singh tailed off after a solid start, finishing tied for 37th at 14-over. Additional kudos for Bogeyman for starting his post in a familiar style. We here at the Golfer Supremacy Rankings are impressed.

Random Admission: Ok, as much as I want to act all superior over the players and fans, I do have to admit one thing - that Masters was hella-dreary. I mean, for God’s sake, I just wrote “finishing tied for 37th at 14-over.” At the Masters 14-over can get you 37th place?? It used to mean you withdrew on the eighth hole of round 2. Maybe the Augusta guys should ease off the accelerator next year.

–WKW