After seeing a few mixed-martial arts fans around the Internets spend some of their valuable time trying to invent new and exciting ways to call me different varieties of feminine hygiene products, I figured I should give at least one response before moving on. First of all, in regard to UFC buying out Pride, I agree with reader Casey Trowbridge when he wrote: “If you were going to attack the Fertitta quote as being full of hyperbole you would’ve done better to attack the part where he said that this could make MMA as popular as soccer.” Keep in mind, however, that ...

With Tiger Woods in the mix, golf writers have plenty of openings for hyperbole. This writer has gone as far as to proclaim Woods the best athlete of his era, and awaits any solid arguments against that claim. Nonetheless, occasionally situations get out of hand. Take the indicted Tom DeLay, comparing himself to six million Jews, Poland, et al, by proclaiming in his nearly completely un-read book that “Liberals have joined scoundrels like Hitler,” for bringing up the fact that DeLay treated campaign finance laws like stop signs in a gated community. Not quite up to the level of that narcissistic claim, ...

As Tiger Woods and a select few others fight their fatigue over the ridiculously long PGA Tour schedule by teeing it up at the Tavistock Cup while laughing it up to the uproarious humor of David Feherty, many wonder what the Tavistock Cup actually is, and why it’s PGA sanctioned. Of course, that’s not for you to wonder, as you weren’t invited so just keep your thoughts to yourself, all right? And besides, they do it for charity: The event not only benefits players and spectators, it also benefits local and international charities. In 2006, the Tavistock Cup raised more than $500,000 ...

Back when I was a member of the Norwegian supergroup “a-ha” (I was “ha"), I learned quite a bit about wasting time. Seriously, it doesn’t take that much concentration and practice to successfully sing the line “Take on me!” over and over and over again. So I understand that many golf writers get stuck and bored in their own loop of “Tiger Woods wins” over and over again. So when Woods shows some weakness, they jumped on it. It’s to be expected. Of course, now that he left the field in shambles at the WGC-CA Championship, a few of the stories ...

My fellow magicians will likely be upset that I’m unveiling one of the secrets of the trade, but, hey, I’m a rebel so here goes: Being a sportswriter is as cushy a job as you can find. Not only do you get to watch sporting events for a living, you generally get to watch them from great seats. You have your own parking area. Organizers of whatever event will have a separate area set up just for sportswriters where they can file stories. They feed you. And there’s always an event PR guy running around making sure you have every last available ...

Here at the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, we go through steroids like a diabetic goes through insulin, and we have testicles the size of a proton to prove it. We do it gladly, however, because we want to be the most powerful golf rankings system in the known universe. We also do it because we know you, the sports-loving public, could really care less that we’re jacked up, so long as we produce the goods. Basically, we are following the NFL’s ultra-successful model of “wink, wink, nudge, nudge, let’s occasionally give someone a four-game suspension then invite them to the Pro Bowl.” Because ...

While everyone spent the last few years glorifying the young guns of the LPGA - and are currently checking their watches to see if any of them are actually going to have a real accomplishment in the pro game - Nancy Lopez was working to get back in the game. Now, while Morgan Pressel, Michelle Wie and Natalie Gulbis look at Paula Creamer’s five career victories as some type of otherworldly standard, a woman with 52 career wins and three major titles is ready to play a few rounds at the age of 50. Lopez said she plans to play five ...

While most sports fans in the U.S. are in the grips of college basketball’s March Madness (and weren’t we all wondering how Duke-hater Chris Baldwin will rework a golf blog to get his gloating in over the Krzyzewski Kids falling to Virginia Commonwealth), there is another madness going on in the world of sports - golfers, pundits and others fretting about scores in relation to par. “Arnie can’t like this, players are shredding this course,” said Rocco Mediate, as a record 42 players broke 70. And while I admire the PGA Punter (a distant cousin of Winston Churchill, by the way), I ...

Head for the hills, kids, the Ides of March are upon us! Ok, actually the “Ides of March” just means the middle of March, which is, in fact, today. Any negative connotation of the phrase is just because Julius Caesar got whacked on March 15, some 2,051 years ago, 44 years prior to the great B.C. - A.D. changeover. The only thing getting whacked today will be golf balls, as the Arnold Palmer Invitational kicks off. Yesterday, Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Arnold Palmer spoke to the press. With Woods’ new D.C. tournament garnering some controversy by adding another invitational to the ...

It’s all Arnold Palmer this week, as the Arnold Palmer Invitational takes place this week at Bay Hill in the beautiful city of Arnold Palmer in the state of Arnold Palmer. But while Arnold Palmer is all the Arnold Palmer these days, the PGA Tour will be focusing more and more on individuals this year as Tiger Woods joins the fray come Independence Day, as the Tiger Woods Foundation will host the To-Be-Named-At-A-Future-Date Tournament, sponsored by To Be Determined. We do know it will be in Washington D.C., and we know that Tiger Woods himself likely won’t even be there, but his ...

A while ago, I gave my thoughts on Phil Mickelson lending a hand to former NFL star Conrad Dobler and his family, who were suffering from financial woes due to medical expenses for Dobler’s wife Joy, as well as a lifetime of medical expenses for Dobler, himself, whose body was brutalized from a stellar NFL career. Over the last few weeks, we’ve noticed that certain Google searches keep popping up, mainly based around this rumor: That Mickelson’s charity to Dobler was a hoax or an urban legend. So hopefully, those that a) are curious to find out about the Mickelson-Dobler connection, and ...

As Michelle Wie’s convalescence drags out a little longer, the young phenomenon is learning some cold hard facts about the public - out of sight, out of mind. So as Wie awaits to heal her “backwards running” injury, someone like Tadd Fujikawa jumps in and dazzles all with his short stature and huge game. Of course, the teens aren’t the only ones grabbing headlines. Fred Funk recently became just the second player to win on the PGA Tour after winning on the Champions Tour, bringing a tear to the eye of many an old timer. But Funk has nothing on Bombi Aznar. ...

About six weeks ago, a blog ran here detailing the work of the City of Evansville, Ind., in sending used golf balls over to Iraq. It seems smacking around golf balls has been a great way for U.S. troops to get some entertainment and feel closer to home while serving their country in the Middle East. The idea has been happily copied by a few others, including Kyle Taylor, owner of USA Golf in Lawrence, Kansas. As of yesterday, Taylor had collected about 2,500 golf clubs and 12,000 to 15,000 golf balls. “We’re just kind of overwhelmed right now. There’s ...

It goes without saying that the United States is terrorized from all angles. There are the IslamoFascistNazis hiding behind every third tree, waiting patiently to slice everyone’s throats. There’s Mexico, bundling up its criminals and sending them to the U.S. in value packs. North Korea and it’s tiny, freakin’ adorable little leader Kim Jong-Il have nukes. Russia is rattling its sabers. Cuba is a filled with angry commies. Venezuela, too. Iran is led by a nuke-hugging madman. Face it, if you’re American, you have to deal with the never-ending horror of knowing that every non-American human on the planet wants to ...

Former U.S. Representative Bob Ney has moved to his new home - a jail cell in Morgantown, W.V. Ney drunkenly careened through the House for many a year, patriotically renaming French fries and accepting damn near anything in the way of bribes for his vote. Basically, he did what everyone else was doing, he just got caught. Because of golf. Yes, while Ney sits in the same clink as original Survivor star and fellow criminal Richard Hatch, he can replay the wonderful memories of golf excursions in Scotland. Golf excursions paid for by Jack Abramoff, and Ney’s own soul. Ney was sentenced to ...