The new USGA golf blog: A completely random, brutal and unprovoked attack

Not along ago, I would have never spent any of my valuable time critiquing a blog from the USGA. It would just seem wrong. Once they got all corporated up, however, signing deals with American Express and Lexus, it became open season.

So it was with some interest I perused Ken Klavon’s Feb. 20 post, looking intently to see if we could detect a new corporate bias from the USGA in their new “official” blog. I was not disappointed.

USGA Blog: Communicating 101

Happy Tuesday.

Coming back after a holiday always seems tough at first, but I often realize how refreshed I feel. Such is the case today.

Opening lines scripted by Dale Carnegie. I’m repulsed.

Before I advance further, allow me to provide a brief overlay of this blog and its purpose. Over the past few weeks, you’ve read a bevy of information written by several people that pertains to the functionality of the USGA. For the time being these same faces - Marty Parkes, David Shefter, Craig Smith and myself - will continue to blog about all things USGA-centric. We might even attempt to be funny from time to time. Mark that down as my first joke.

Where is this joke that you speak of?

Proper introductions are probably helpful. Marty is the senior director of communications for the Association. With the exception of David Fay, he has final say on all communicative matters (including on yours truly). Marty has a fair mind. He will listen and weigh all options before making any decision. You can’t ask for anything more than that from a supervisor.

Remember, every last word of these USGA blogs have been checked, and double checked to remove any semblance of free thought. Sure. Marty’s fair. Just like Pol Pot.

Craig Smith is the USGA’s director of media relations. He has a thankless job.

I believe you’re thanking him now.

Craig formulates press releases, making sure all the facts are corrrect (sic). Sometimes that’s not an easy task considering there are often multiple sources involved. He’s also behind the media center setup at the U.S. Open. Coordinating, compromising and getting the ball rolling on this is simply a hectic chore.

Compromising? What the hell is he compromising? Are you saying what I think you’re saying??

Finally, without trying to gloss over his many duties, he is on the front line with the media. This is no easy task. The media, in many ways, are a diversified and motley bunch in that every one has his/her own needs and every one has his/her own unique personality.

Already working to build up the anti-media sentiment. It is so on.

David Shefter is a gifted reporter/writer. You may have seen some of his prose in the now defunct Golf Journal and on our Web site. He is a tireless worker, not wont to complain.

I’ll give someone $5 for ironclad evidence of David Shefter bitching about something.

He handles every assignment with aplomb as a professional. David got his start in print, working in newspapers before joining the USGA in the late ’90s. There is a running joke within the offices that he is our Rain Man because of his encyclopedic mind when it comes to golf.

You don’t really know what joke means, do you Ken? Here, I’ll give you one:

What has a thousand balls and screws old ladies?

A bingo machine.

Finally, that leaves me. Since full of hot air can’t be assigned as a working title, the more formal description is that of web editor and reporter.

That’s really all we need to know for now, Ken. You’re just a cog in “The Man’s” machine.

We can only hope that we accomplish the core mission of getting the word out. All we can do is communicate and be there for you.

Communicating your message. Like Goebbels.

Our goal is to make it informative, thought-provoking, sometimes entertaining and fun (although we can’t always promise the latter two).

We’re sure the “entertaining and fun” part will show up eventually.

So welcome aboard. The ride is just beginning.

Ken Klavon
Web Editor

Oh yes, Ken, this ride is just beginning.

–WKW