Tiger Woods, Roger Federer, Mistress Morgana battle for dominance

On a weekend that saw both Tiger Woods and Roger Federer continue to dominate in their chosen fields, the sporting world has come to realize that we are in the middle of watching two all-time greats at the peak of their powers.

But while many complain that Federer hasn’t received the media attention that Woods has, there are others who are equally dominant in their fields who receive little attention from the mainstream media. Take San Francisco dominatrix Mistress Morgana, for example. Day in, day out, she does her job, leaving both men and women huddled in a corner crying in submissive satisfaction.

This leaves pundits in a quandary. Who is the best? Who is the most dominant in their field? Well, like any comparison, research must be done. Here, we take a comprehensive look to see who is the most dominant of our time: Tiger Woods, Roger Federer, or Mistress Morganna.

Names:

Tiger Woods: Could only be better if his name was Golfy McGolf.
Roger Federer: A stutterer’s nightmare. Would be a perfect star for the fictional 30 Rock movie, “Rural Jurur.”
Mistress Morgana: You pretty much know what you’re getting here.

Games:

Tiger Woods: Mental strength that we can only dream about. Great putter and shot maker, plus an amazing imagination.
Roger Federer: Great from the baseline. A brutal serve. Can hit all the shots, and is exceptionally athletic. Great imagination.
Mistress Morgana: Great sado-masochist skills. Versatile: can beat women and men. An amazing imagination.

Accomplishments:

Tiger Woods: 55 career victories on the PGA Tour to go with 12 majors and eight player of the year awards.
Roger Federer: 46 career victories to go with 10 Grand Slam wins.
Mistress Morgana: Has left thousands utterly defeated.

Charity:

Tiger Woods: Foundation helps disadvantaged kids and their families.
Roger Federer: Foundation helps underprivileged kids, mainly in South Africa.
Mistress Morgana: Just give her your money and shut up, bitch.

Site of Greatest Triumph:

Tiger Woods: Augusta
Roger Federer: Wimbledon
Mistress Morgana: Maison de la Maîtresse, San Francisco’s newest premier dungeon

Top Rival Vanquished:

Tiger Woods: Phil Mickelson

Roger Federer: Andy Roddick
Mistress Morgana: Marv Albert

As you can see, it’s a tough call. Woods, Federer and Mistress Morgana are all at the top of their games and leave their opposition writing on the ground in pain. The pick here is Tiger, though all three have strong support from their fans.

So, while it’s tough to choose who is the most dominant, one thing has become abundantly clear: In an era where Woods, Federer and Morgana are all performing at the top of their games, we are all winners.

–WKW