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Tiger Woods outshines NHL All-Star Game without taking a swing

Thursday January 25, 2007 | 07:18:25 am 265 words, 4332 views  

For many years, I enjoyed the hockey in much the same way as my Australian Shepherd, Duchess enjoys examining a new bug. Sort of with a “hey, look at that. What else is on?” attitude.

That was before my college days, when a guy I worked with at the University newspaper would bring his recreational hockey gear into the office after a game. The stink from his equipment was like death encased in Joy Behar’s colon. It was literally unbearable, and I was once a commercial fisherman, mind you.

Since then, I’ve been of the opinion hockey should be abolished. First of all, the players all must adore skating around that rink wrapped in their own filth. That gear they wear under their jerseys just sucks in bodily fluids. It’s nasty.

Plus, as far as the NHL is concerned, well, if I’m going to spend a chunk of time watching Eastern Europeans perform, there better be a trapeze and dancing bear involved.

So it was nice to see that the NHL All-Star Game was outshined by a golf news story about Tiger Woods possibly missing the British Open due to the birth of his first child. Think the British Open would be outshined if Lubomir Visnovsky was debating missing a big game?

It’s a small victory, but when the NHL’s best combine for 21 goals and get shown up by Tiger possibly missing a golf tournament several months from now, I get a warm feeling. I know it’s yet another sign that hockey will be eradicated in my lifetime, taking that nasty-ass equipment with it.

–WKW

Permalink 8 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Shanks [Visitor]
Did you see the footage of Tiger improvising during the commercial shoot and tackling the guy who is stealing his golf bag? Very funny. Unfortunately, the guy's head got banged up a little bit when Tiger took him down.
PermalinkPermalink 01/25/07 @ 07:58
Comment from: Whatever [Visitor]
Um, today's Washington Post, hardly a hockey hot bed or supporter, has the all-star game front a center today. The Tiger story, um, can't seem to find it in my edition at all. Guess Golf is withering on a vine
PermalinkPermalink 01/25/07 @ 09:21
Comment from: Brandon Tucker [Visitor] · http://www.worldgolf.com/blogs/brandon.tucker
I can't help but notice a string of NHL-hating coming from you Wolfrum. I admit the game has held higher status among the sports world in the past, but if you're going to base its demise on where it stands on SportsCenter and ESPN, let's also remember Terrell Owens leads the show whenever he sneezes. The anchors are getting visibly irritated by the producer's insistence on him being a story these days. They're fed up. They scour the media looking for any sound bite from him so it can lead NFL Live. It's become unbearable. When ESPN gets the NHL back in a year or two, we'll see plenty more of Melrose and hockey highlights, much to your dismay.

For the time being, does anyone wanna see me make a sweet save from my college hockey days as a goalie at IU????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf8Ege8hzf8

PermalinkPermalink 01/25/07 @ 09:58
Comment from: Michael [Visitor] · http://armyofohio.blogspot.com
Talk about malice; what a horrible blog entry, filled with prejudice venom, and all because "hockey players are stinky"? For an apparently old man, you need to grow up. Oh, and the jab at Eastern Europeans? Talk about bigotry.

By the way? You may have wanted to wait to catch the morning recording of Sportscenter before trumpeting Tiger coverage over the All-Star Game. Guess what's at about the 12 minute mark of SC, nearly 20 minutes before Tiger coverage? You guessed it; Barry Melrose, his mullet, and the sport you seem to hate.
PermalinkPermalink 01/25/07 @ 10:47
Comment from: Jack [Visitor]
I must confess that I'm not much of a hockey fan, but I attribute that to the fact that I'm quite ignorant concerning the sport. I do understand golf and enjoying watching it on TV. Having said that I don't quite understand the purpose of your blog and especially that remark about Joy Behar's colon.

If you are going to denegrate a sport and it's fans, why even mention Tiger
Woods. I'm almost sure you don't speak for him.
PermalinkPermalink 01/25/07 @ 11:47
Comment from: j.p. Corbeil [Visitor]
Unfortunately, most of your comments on the unimportance of hockey in the sports world are justified in some ways. This decline started when Canadians (read Toronto) decided to give control of the game to an ex-assistant-commissioner of ...basketball who still does not know on what side of the stick he should stand and had always thought ice came from cocktail glasses.


As for Eastern Europeans, I guess it is as interesting as watchcing Chinese basketball superstars or Japanese superstar baseball players or Corean LPGA players or....

As for the NHL All-Star game... you are so right.

J.P. Corbeil
(you guessed it): Montréal
PermalinkPermalink 01/25/07 @ 12:28
Comment from: Irrelevant [Visitor]
The NHL All Star Game was telecast on the versus network(formerly the outdoor life network) and was viewed by 497,000 homes. To put this into perspective; it lost to cake baking on the home and garden channel, by a lot. Whoever came up with the idea to play the game on a Wednesday night, just rendered this already dying sport completely irrelevant.

Face it mullett heads nobody watches or cares about hockey.
PermalinkPermalink 01/29/07 @ 12:26
Comment from: David [Visitor]
Tiger should keep his mouth SHUT. It's not like any golfer ever broke a sweat from heavy athletic exercise... Is it a war between Nike and Raebok? He must dislike hockey because there are few black participants. Is it in his mind that it is racially segregated sport? Well, if he is against the only sport in which blacks DON'T dominate, maybe he shouldn't have married a white model? Don't get me wrong, I'm not against anyone marrying anyone, but why diss the ONLY white-dominated sport? At least hockey is full of action, and athleticism, compared to golf and even baseball (which I also like). As a matter of fact, until rich basketball players retired and found each other (gambling) at golf courses. Few blacks ever even got into golf before! IF ANYTHING, Tiger should be helping blacks break into HOCKEY than diss the sport and appear like a racist...
PermalinkPermalink 06/04/08 @ 08:57

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William K. Wolfrum William K. Wolfrum

a WorldGolf.com Blog

WorldGolf.com's William K. Wolfrum blogs about everything in the world of golf and travel, including Michelle Wie, Lorena Ochoa, Tiger Woods and other PGA and LPGA headlines. Plus, he offers the humorous and obscure in news, politics and pop culture.