If golfers fought, they wouldn't use the NBA's 'Float like a butterfly, flee like a sissy" approach
Now, while the NBA has been in damage control, trying desperately to avoid looking as though the league has a violence problem, the majority of fans have a much larger issue with the brawl - mainly, that NBA players have a penchant for fighting like teenage girls catfighting over a dude.
I mean, c’mon, Denver’s Carmelo Anthony - the NBA’s scoring leader for God’s sake - made better use of the “hit and sprint” than a cross between Muhammad Ali and Carl Lewis.
Sadly, fighting is completely frowned upon by the pristine corporate leaders of pro sports these days. Of course, for the most part, fights in team sports tend to just be comical. Outside of Nolan Ryan peppering Robin Ventura and Kermit Washington launching Rudy Tomjanovich into the third deck, most athletes involved in brawls these days seem to go with Anthony’s “Float like a butterfly, flee like a sissy” technique.
Because lets face it, like Bill Kristol, NBA players enjoy talking about fighting quite a bit, they just rarely ever actually do it. So when they actually get around to fighting, the results are hideous and poorly executed.
With the level of competition in sports, however, fighting is to be expected. It just saddens me that we’ll likely never see a free-for-all on the golf course. I mean, c’mon, every year you get several no-names coming from the Nationwide Tour or Q-School. They’re sitting 375th on the money list and totally expendable.
A scenario: It’s the final round of the Western Open - Tiger Woods has a nine-shot lead. With half-a-dozen holes to play, he birdies an easy par 4 and gives a patented fist pump. Paul Stankowski leaps from the sidelines and smacks Tiger in the Achilles tendon with a four-iron, screaming “Take that weak-ass shit out of here!”
It would horrifying I tell you. Golfers would be hurling clubs at each other, then sprinting for the clubhouse. Hair would be pulled. Women and children would cry. A Nike sniper would take out Stankowski. A bunch of golfers would be striking karate poses, hoping to fool everyone. It would be a nightmare. But it would be the greatest spectacle in the history of television.
OK, I know I’m dreaming here. Fighting and golf just don’t mix on a professional level. Too much etiquette and such. But believe you me, if golfers ever did go at it during a PGA event, they’d look a hell of a lot less spazzy than your average NBA basketbrawler.
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Looks like Wie is headed to that west-coast-diploma-mill in Palo Alto. Stanford is clearly NOT accredited by the Grinches.
Congrats to Lorena Ochoa on LPGA honors. Let's see, how old was Ochoa in her break-out year? Oh yeah... 24. About the same age that Sorenstam, and nearly every other top-notch golfer, finds their top form... Can't wait to see Wie's "A" game come together in about 2013.. when she's 24... seven years from now.
Big Deal -
24 is the average age that top golfers begin to dominate. Legends like Hogan, Snead, Jones, Woods, Palmer, Nicklaus, Nelson, Sorenstam, etc show an average age of 24 or so for their "A" games to mature - Golf history 101.
If you have PROOF that Stanford applied standards to Michelle that were outside their norm, prove it. You're just jealous. Admit it. Michelle is smarter than you, golfs better than you, is richer than you, more popular than you, and probably taller than you... get used to it.
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