On a day when election coverage should be the only news that matters, two massive events have shaken the United States, leaving the elections in the dust.

Both John Daly and Britney Spears are getting divorced.

Daly, who stood by wife Sherrie Miller Daly just long enough for her to finish a federal sentence on drug and gambling charges, filed for divorce from her on Oct. 18, just one day after she filed for divorce from him.

“It was kind of a race to the courthouse,” Randy Fishman, the Memphis attorney representing Daly’s wife told the Associated Press. And what a race that must have been.

As if that wasn’t big enough news to knock the elections to page 2, even bigger news came that will surely leave election coverage stuck on the comics page next to a Dilbert strip. Britney Spears is dumping hubby Kevin Federline.

The divorce of the two comes as a shock to virtually no one, as most believe Spears could have found a more talented husband lodged in Nick Lachey’s teeth.

But this leads to a huge possibility. A chance for golf and entertainment to merge in a way never before imagined. Yes, I’m talking about a John Daly, Kevin Federline marriage.

No, I joke. Seriously, imagine it: Daly, Britney, together as one. It would be Daly’s fifth marriage, Britney’s third.

John, Britney, I know this is a hard time for both of you. But you must do what’s right for this nation. Get together, get married, have children. Do it for America. Do it for your fans. Hell, do it for me. Please.

Daly. Britney. Arkansas. Louisiana. Jesus, I’m hyperventilating here.

Lets make this happen, guys. Seriously, you’ve both done much worse. The white trash world, and bloggers covering everything from music, to golf, to grits, anxiously await your decision.

–WKW