Like Michael J. Fox, the Golfer Supremacy Rankings are willing to fake it to get results

Recently, BadGolfer.com favorite Rush Limbaugh took some time off of his normal schedule of Viagra-fueled vacations to such sex tourism destinations as the Dominican Republic to make some comments on a pro-stem cell research / political ad by Michael J. Fox, who “supposedly” suffers from Parkinson’s disease.

“Michael J. Fox is allowing his illness to be exploited and in the process is shilling for a Democrat politician,” Limbaugh said of the ad, accusing Fox of “acting” or “exaggerating” the shaking effects the disease causes.

“In this commercial he is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He’s moving around and shaking. It’s purely an act,” said Limbaugh.

Much like Limbaugh’s three wives did, we here at the Golfer Supremacy Rankings believe everything the hyper-ethical Limbaugh says and were astounded by the idea that Fox would fake the effects of his nightmarish illness for political purposes. Even if he ceased taking his medications, that would be a huge scandal. You think Rush would stop taking his pills for political gain? We think not.

Let it be known that we here at the GSR’s, are ashamed of Mr. Fox. Pretending to make his horrible illness more horrible after all these years, just to make a political ad is shameful. And stem cell research? Doesn’t Fox understand that the 150-cell organisms required for stem cells are actually babies that you can name, put in a petri dish and play with while peering at them from a microscope? And he wants to use them to find cures for myriad diseases?

It is clear that Michael J. Fox is a fake-shaking baby murderer, and we have the noble Rush to thank for pointing that out. If we could, we’d give Mr. Fox a firm shaking ourselves, if he’d just stand still for us.

Golfer Supremacy Rankings

1. Joe Durant

Comments: After a five-year winless streak, Durant is back to the future after winning the Funai Classic, leaving even WorldGolf.com’s PGA Punter feeling slightly abashed at not seeing him coming.

“That’s the beauty of golf - you never know where the next great game is coming from. Just wish I’d known earlier about Joe’s decision to change to a former “more intuitive” putting style, wrote the Punter.

After winning consecutively in 2001, Durant has been on a hot run of late, as the PGA’s leader in driving accuracy has now moved up to 29th on the money list and No. 50 in the world with his win.

2. Tiger Woods

Comments: As usual, Woods is picking his spots this year, which, according to an ESPN.com article by Bob Harig, may very well be the secret of his success:

“Woods has accomplished so much by finding the courses and events he likes and continuing to play those tournaments – and those tournaments only.

All of which makes it rather frustrating for the tournaments that have never seen the world’s best player,” wrote Harig.

Woods will be taking off the Chrysler Championship this week, meaning golf fans can feel guilt free as they tune out en masse to enjoy the World Series, as well as football, rather than the PGA this weekend.

3. Jack Nicklaus

Comments: The Golden Bear couldn’t resist the bright lights, big city atmosphere of Santo Domingo, as he is set to open up his first design in the Dominican Republic - Punta Espada Golf Course on Nov. 8.

Sam Logan, golf director at Cap Cana, said Punta Espada will be exceptional with eight holes directly on the ocean and ocean views from every putting green.

“Punta Espada’s unique story began before the greens and fairways were planned. Cap Cana gave Nicklaus his pick of land before all other real estate and plans were initiated,” said Logan.

No word if Limbaugh will attend the opening, where he reportedly could have his pick of smooth, young Dominicans.

Random Factoid: The Michael J. Fox Foundation has funded more than $80 million to Parkinson’s disease research, to try to help cure the disease which affects 4 to 6 million people worldwide.

–WKW