Angry golfers can avoid suspensions and add style to their rants with Cuss-O-Matic

While golf is commonly called the “Gentleman’s Game,” it’s also a game that will often leave it’s players ready to commit vile and heinous acts of violence against mankind.

So, to avoid doing a little head stomping like Tennessee’s Albert Haynesworth, we’d like to introduce a new device that will help you avoid situations that would likely result in much worse than a five-game suspension.

Ladies and gentleman, we introduce the “Cuss-O-Matic.”

Yes, finally, you can flip out on a golf course with the type of flair normally reserved for lunatic leaders of small, oil-bearing nations.

Miss a two-foot putt for birdie? Try these rants offered up by the Cuss-O-Matic, where one click will have you swimming in non-overly offensive verbiage:

“Oh, mother of a salivating maggot-pleasing giraffe!”

“Sacred mother of a steaming centipede-breeding serpent!”

“Oh, pinch my pogo-sticking, filthy elbow!”

“Aw, abuse me with a sticky eyelash-curler!”

“Flaming mother of a screwball marsupial-molesting orc!”

“Well, violate me with a infected turkey baster!”

All these, and much, much more from the “Cuss-O-Matic” brought to you by the same people who gave you the “Trendy Name Generator” ("Briline Fawn,” “Rhiryl Mist,” “Crysayda,” etc.).

Remember, the next time you want a take a three-iron to someone’s skull, harken back to the phrases you learned at the “Cuss-O-Matic.” You, and your playing partner, will be glad you did.

–WKW