Angry golfers can avoid suspensions and add style to their rants with Cuss-O-Matic
While golf is commonly called the “Gentleman’s Game,” it’s also a game that will often leave it’s players ready to commit vile and heinous acts of violence against mankind.
So, to avoid doing a little head stomping like Tennessee’s Albert Haynesworth, we’d like to introduce a new device that will help you avoid situations that would likely result in much worse than a five-game suspension.
Ladies and gentleman, we introduce the “Cuss-O-Matic.”
Yes, finally, you can flip out on a golf course with the type of flair normally reserved for lunatic leaders of small, oil-bearing nations.
Miss a two-foot putt for birdie? Try these rants offered up by the Cuss-O-Matic, where one click will have you swimming in non-overly offensive verbiage:
“Oh, mother of a salivating maggot-pleasing giraffe!”
“Sacred mother of a steaming centipede-breeding serpent!”
“Oh, pinch my pogo-sticking, filthy elbow!”
“Aw, abuse me with a sticky eyelash-curler!”
“Flaming mother of a screwball marsupial-molesting orc!”
“Well, violate me with a infected turkey baster!”
All these, and much, much more from the “Cuss-O-Matic” brought to you by the same people who gave you the “Trendy Name Generator” ("Briline Fawn,” “Rhiryl Mist,” “Crysayda,” etc.).
Remember, the next time you want a take a three-iron to someone’s skull, harken back to the phrases you learned at the “Cuss-O-Matic.” You, and your playing partner, will be glad you did.
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