Win a free golf book!

Just like Osama bin Laden, U.S. golf dies every two years or so

Sunday September 24, 2006 | 07:28:05 pm 263 words, 4066 views  

Rumors that Osama bin Laden has died have been running rampant in the news the past few days. Reportedly the evil, bearded one fell dead from typhoid, or ennui, or something like that in the latest of his caves.

Of course, who can forget the time he died in Jan. 2002? Or when he ceased living in July of 2002? Or when his 72 smoking-hot virgins welcomed him in June 2005? Or in Dec. 2005?

Osama bin Laden has basically become the Elvis of terrorists. Soon, there will be sightings of him pumping gas while dead in Des Moines. Plus, I hear bin Laden digs wearing leather and swiveling his hips. And loves peanut-butter and banana sandwiches. And popping pills like a mad man. And had a twin brother that died at birth named Jessie Garon. And can also bring tears to your eyes with a version of “Love me Tender.” Seriously, the similarities are mind blowing.

Anyway, the world may or may not be without its favorite demented cave dweller. But one thing is for certain: Every couple years we get more proof that U.S. golf is as dead as could be as far as international team competition.

And while President Bush has let the world know that he really could care less about bin Laden one way or another, it’s about time that U.S. pro golfers admit that they just don’t care about the Ryder Cup.

They don’t know where the effort in the Ryder Cup is. They have no idea and don’t really care. It’s not that important. It’s not their priority.

–WKW

Permalink 2 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Ron Mon [Member] · http://www.buffalogolfer.com
While I admire the brilliant analogy, I deflate the pomposity of your (ass)ertion with a deft swipe of a needle. The only American who didn't care about the Ryder Cup was Tom Weiskopf in 1979, he of the hunting excursion. Weiskopf's boorishness is a blog series of its own. The USA cares about as much as it can. Trouble is, Europe cares more. That's the way it is with the underdog. Unless we have USA-China one day for the General Tso Cup, where we will be the decided economic underdog, the USA simply cannot feel inferior to any other country.
PermalinkPermalink 09/24/06 @ 21:40
Comment from: Anthony Urquhart (PGA Punter) [Visitor] · http://www.pgapunter.com
We have a chant this side of the water (that's all points east of Reykjavik) that goes something like this:

Just because you're losing.

Laughed myself stupid over the Bin Laden stuff though. Just one correction: because of necessary budget cuts to fund the ongoing jihad on earth, the number of virgins has been cut to 50.
PermalinkPermalink 09/25/06 @ 04:40

Leave a comment:

Your email address will not be displayed on this site.
Your URL will be displayed.

Allowed XHTML tags: <p, ul, ol, li, dl, dt, dd, address, blockquote, ins, del, span, bdo, br, em, strong, dfn, code, samp, kdb, var, cite, abbr, acronym, q, sub, sup, tt, i, b, big, small>. Bloggers reserve the right to edit or delete comments. Any opinions expressed above are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the management.
(Line breaks become <br />)
(Set cookies for name, email and url)
(Allow users to contact you through a message form (your email will NOT be displayed.))
Grass is green. What color is grass?

William K. Wolfrum William K. Wolfrum

a WorldGolf.com Blog

WorldGolf.com's William K. Wolfrum blogs about everything in the world of golf and travel, including Michelle Wie, Lorena Ochoa, Tiger Woods and other PGA and LPGA headlines. Plus, he offers the humorous and obscure in news, politics and pop culture.