Golfer Un-Supremacy Rankings: Forced by Tiger Woods to focus on the negative

Tuesday August 22, 2006 | 11:35:39 am 392 words, 3215 views

Here in the deep, dark recesses of the human mind that we like to call the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, the funk we feel is real and it’s a drag that maybe Papa’s got to get a brand new bag.

Such is life at this corporate powerhouse ranking system that’s just been left in tatters by one Tiger Woods. We’re left to lamely attempt to splice adjectives together in the hopes of coming up with a new way to describe Tiger (Spectastic! Fantacular! Tremendiferous!).

But that’s not going to help anyone. So, in keeping with the time-honored tradition of this medium, we decided to focus on the negative, and rank the most truly craptificent performers of the past week.

The Golfer Un-Supremacy Rankings

1. Phil Mickelson

Comments: Sure, there’s nothing wrong with a Top-20 performance in the PGA Championship. After all, he did beat early favorite Steve Flesch by two shots. Still, after a Masters victory and the clamoring that Lefty had won three of seven majors and was now Tiger’s rival, getting blown out by Woods by 13 at the British Open and by 12 at the PGA has put talk of a rivalry on permanent hiatus. Does Lefty’s infamous gag on No. 18 at the U.S. Open mean he’ll never be the same? We’d never say that, but we will say this: Lefty will never be the same.

2. Davis Love III

Comments: A triple bogey on 17 turned his opening round of 65 into a 68 at the PGA Championship, and his final rounds of 73 and 76 turned his 2006 Ryder Cup experience into some quality time with the family. “We’ll all be there saying ‘Gosh, I wish Davis were here with us,’ ” said Ryder Cup captain Tom Lehman. By golly, Tom, no they won’t.

3. Morgan Pressel

Comments: With a victory in reach at the Safeway Classic, the teen limped home with a 74 to finish tied for seventh. Will yards and yards of copy be produced screaming that Pressel can’t close? Nope. Will Michelle Wie fans find this unfair? Very likely. Will the wild and wacky Wie Warriors somehow translate Pressel’s bad fortune as some type of victory for their heroine? You just know they will.

Random factoid: Pat Hurst won the Safeway Classic over the weekend. We dare you to try and find any mention of that, or of her on the front page of LPGA.com.

–WKW

5 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: ToddCommish [Visitor]

Actually, I was waiting for someone to write about Pressel's fade from contention. She seems to have the same "issues" as Wie when it comes to closing out a tournament. One only needs to look at Tiger (12-0 or something equally ridiculous when leading a major after three rounds) to see how a "closer" closes. Pressel clearly chokes as much as Wie when coming down the stretch of a tournament. Maybe it's the crowds, maybe it's just a lack of maturity. Either way, it'll be really interesting to see which one breaks through first.

Permalink 08/22/06 @ 13:00

Comment from: Merrin [Visitor]

"Lefty will never be the same."

Thats a strange statement because it assumes Phil was a strong finisher until the US open. But that's not necessarily true. So technically its possible all he lost was the groove in his recent success run.

But look at Tiger, he failed to make the cut for the US open, Phil was winning, and most were then ready to proclaim Phil the #1. Tiger got over his personal cirsumstances to a degree, took some time off, returned to finish what began as a promising year for him.

Permalink 08/22/06 @ 19:30

Comment from: Kristen [Visitor] · http://golfchick.blogspot.com

Damn you, WKW! I bet the farm on Steve Flesch. They're going to come collecting and break my arms and legs when they realize I don't have a farm.

Permalink 08/22/06 @ 21:34

Comment from: Ron Mon [Member] · http://www.buffalogolfer.com

Ya' know, Pressel won a bunch of junior events, unlike Wie. She did blow off the four great years of college, like Wie seems intent on doing. Is it possible that, although the female bod matures enough to play competitively, the mind does not? And, to counter that argument, why do teen gymnasts "close the deal," while teen golfers seem unable to do so?

Permalink 08/24/06 @ 22:53

Comment from: Paul W [Visitor]

Teen gymnasts "close the deal" because they are generally competing against other teens. Someone has to win.

btw, in response to ToddCommish's comment that Pressel chokes "as much as Wie when coming down the stretch", that's a major understatement. Pressel seems lately to choke around the 16th hole whether she's near the lead or not. Wie seems to be much stronger mentally. Hopefully, Pressel will get past this stage.

Permalink 08/26/06 @ 10:00

William K. Wolfrum

a WorldGolf.com Blog

WorldGolf.com's William K. Wolfrum blogs about everything in the world of golf and travel, including Michelle Wie, Lorena Ochoa, Tiger Woods and other PGA and LPGA headlines. Plus, he offers the humorous and obscure in news, politics and pop culture.