Golfer Un-Supremacy Rankings: Forced by Tiger Woods to focus on the negative

Here in the deep, dark recesses of the human mind that we like to call the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, the funk we feel is real and it’s a drag that maybe Papa’s got to get a brand new bag.

Such is life at this corporate powerhouse ranking system that’s just been left in tatters by one Tiger Woods. We’re left to lamely attempt to splice adjectives together in the hopes of coming up with a new way to describe Tiger (Spectastic! Fantacular! Tremendiferous!).

But that’s not going to help anyone. So, in keeping with the time-honored tradition of this medium, we decided to focus on the negative, and rank the most truly craptificent performers of the past week.

The Golfer Un-Supremacy Rankings

1. Phil Mickelson

Comments: Sure, there’s nothing wrong with a Top-20 performance in the PGA Championship. After all, he did beat early favorite Steve Flesch by two shots. Still, after a Masters victory and the clamoring that Lefty had won three of seven majors and was now Tiger’s rival, getting blown out by Woods by 13 at the British Open and by 12 at the PGA has put talk of a rivalry on permanent hiatus. Does Lefty’s infamous gag on No. 18 at the U.S. Open mean he’ll never be the same? We’d never say that, but we will say this: Lefty will never be the same.

2. Davis Love III

Comments: A triple bogey on 17 turned his opening round of 65 into a 68 at the PGA Championship, and his final rounds of 73 and 76 turned his 2006 Ryder Cup experience into some quality time with the family. “We’ll all be there saying ‘Gosh, I wish Davis were here with us,’ ” said Ryder Cup captain Tom Lehman. By golly, Tom, no they won’t.

3. Morgan Pressel

Comments: With a victory in reach at the Safeway Classic, the teen limped home with a 74 to finish tied for seventh. Will yards and yards of copy be produced screaming that Pressel can’t close? Nope. Will Michelle Wie fans find this unfair? Very likely. Will the wild and wacky Wie Warriors somehow translate Pressel’s bad fortune as some type of victory for their heroine? You just know they will.

Random factoid: Pat Hurst won the Safeway Classic over the weekend. We dare you to try and find any mention of that, or of her on the front page of LPGA.com.

–WKW