Golfer Supremacy Rankings discover the sign of the Anti-Jack

When Jack Nicklaus descended from the stars to the PGA Tour, the golfing world gasped. So young, so ridiculously talented, so chubby, so adorable. Here was the Anti-Arnold, and while it took years for some to accept, his legend grew, with his 73 total victories and 18 major titles sealing his deity-like persona.

Now, after the Buick Open, let there be no doubt. The Anti-Jack walks among us, in the shape and form of Tiger Woods. Historians gasped at his final score in Michigan, then looked at each other knowingly, and drank some Kool-aid and headed to the mothership.

They completely overreacted, mind you, but nonetheless, after four rounds we have all seen the sign of the Anti-Jack:

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Golfer Supremacy Rankings

1. Tiger Woods

Comments: Much like how Bill Murray once warned us all that Tito Puente would some day be gone, so we better appreciate him now, someday Tiger Woods won’t be the world’s best golfer, and nothing will seem right again.

By becoming the youngest player to get to 50 career victories (topping Nicklaus), Tiger continued his run of brilliant golf that started at the British Open, as he posted four successive scores of 66.

And while people love to make the argument about golfers not being athletes, this quote is one more reason why the entire sporting world considers Woods one of the best athletes on the globe:

“You enter a golf tournament to win. There’s no reason to enter if that’s not the belief that you have,” Tiger said following his win.

2. Sherri Steinhauer

Comments: In a complete and total repudiation of the new “young guns” era, Steinhauer cruised to the Women’s British Open title, beating runners-up Cristie Kerr and 2000 champion Sophie Gustafson by three strokes.

First of all, major props to the 43-year-old Steinhauer, who, aside from putting together four strong rounds at the ShopRite LPGA Classic for a second-place finish, gave no one any reason to believe she’d run away in England for her third Open win.

But, seriously, after suffering the emotional turmoil that comes from being damned by Tim McDonald, this just can’t feel that great to Carolyn Bivens, as golf fans spent the weekend avoiding watching her players.

3. Rick Rhoden

Comments: David Edwards won the “Hey Buy This” Championship (or whatever) over the weekend, but former major league pitcher Rick Rhoden finished in a tie for sixth, which is way more interesting in our book. Perhaps Golf for Beginners have the right idea by combining the Champions Tour with the LPGA.

Random factoid: A journalist I worked with in Anchorage, Sue Cathcart, is a doppelganger for Steinhauer. You’re just going to have to trust me on this.

Spontaneous, Random Film Review: In a lack-of-options moment, I watched “House of D” last night. It was written, directed by and starred David Duchovny, No, I don’t know what I was thinking either. Duchovny is a method actor, though sadly, he has just learned one method – bored bemusement – and applies it to everything he does. It was just putrid stuff and I feel bad about myself for watching it. I should have rented “Pi” again, which I didn’t really like that much, but at least hardcore film types would think I was cool.

David Duchovny
emoting.

–WKW