Bold predictions from a Wie Waffler while Brian Urlacher lies about his game

Random thoughts:

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It’s hurtful when Chris Baldwin accuses me of being a “Wie Waffler.” But only to a point.

I tend not to get too upset with Baldwin, as he has enough on his plate dealing with a body forged by endless free meals while covering sporting events (if you’ve ever been curious about what sportswriters get fed during a sporting event, I can break it down in one word - Fritos.) Who can get too upset with a guy who has a torso that looks like a trash bag full of gummi bears?

Nonetheless, I feel my thoughts on Wie are pretty standard. I think she’s a good kid. I think she’s a remarkable talent. I think her trend of coming up a tad short in events is somewhat disconcerting, but the type of thing we’ll look back on with whimsy after she becomes the next LPGA star to rack up win after win. I think her rush to greatness is risky, and I think eventually she’ll blow off her PGA plans, using the Annika Sorenstam theory of “what’s the point of working so hard to come in 35th against men?”

And, sure, I love giving her a little tweak now and again to see the infamous Wie Warriors lose it. “Taking it with a grain of salt” really isn’t in their playbook whatsoever. So you can make wildly outlandish claims, and they’ll fight you tooth and nail over it.
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By the way, I boldly predict that Wie won’t win in 2006 and by June 2007 will have become a full-blown cannibal, with Brittany Lincicome served with a fine bottle of chianti being a favorite meal.
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While Michelle Wie’s future is still wide open, B.J. Wie’s is basically written in stone:

B.J. Wie: The guy who thought the book “How to rapidly turn your talented, happy daughter into Jennifer Capriati while profiting wildly” was the Bible.

No dad, I don’t want a nose ring!

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So Chicago Bears’ star Brian Urlacher has said he didn’t golf in the NFL offseason to give his body a break. A good idea, though in the next breath he claims to be a 6 or 7 handicap. This falls right in line with Justin Timberlake’s claim of being a 6 handicap as yet more proof that golf takes good people, and turns them into horrible liars.

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The Idaho Statesman has a blurb on Don Knott, the designer who long worked under the Robert Trent Jones Jr. flag. He’s also the guy who has said “No, the guy from the ‘Andy Griffith Show’ was Don Knotts, I’m Don Knott,” about 48 billion times in his life.
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Seeing Tiger Woods play a round of golf with retired NFL star Jerome Bettis, I was struck with two thoughts: 1) Standing next to each other, Woods and Bettis to a solid immitation of the number 10, and 2) When Wie goes cannibal, Jerome Bettis better start sleeping with one eye open.

The Tiger is a little stringy today,
but the Bus is truly delicious.

–WKW