Golfer Supremacy Rankings: Where a blonde Lincicome will always trump an old Doyle
Here’s to you Brittany Lincicome. And while we’re at it, we applaud the endless, misspelled variations of your name that will soon prop up on the Internet:
So great work, Britney Linkicome.
Fantastic effort, Britany Lankycomet.
Atta girl, Bri Lunkytrunky.
You da man, Britney Licilici.
Golf Supremacy Rankings
1. Brittany Lincicome
Comments: She’s blond, she’s young, she’s babelicious and she just beat Michelle Wie, topped Lorena Ochoa and trounced Juli Inkster to win the HSBC Women’s World Match Play Championship.
A great weekend for her and more success should have her star on the rise more rapidly. Of course, we advise that the LPGA immediately start calling her “Bri-Li” and get her perfume and calendar contracts, but it’s not like we have marketing degrees or anything.
2. Trevor Immelman
Comments: Through nine events this year, Immelman had five missed cuts to his credit, including the Masters. Since then, the South African sensation has been the best player on the PGA Tour, with two second-place finishes and now a victory at the Western Open his last eight times out.
3. Allen Doyle
Comments: Doyle won his second consecutive U.S. Senior Open. Ok, I got nothing on this. Not a damned thing. Even trying to call him “Al-Doy” doesn’t seem to work. How about we just leave it at: Congratulations, Mr. Doyle.
Quotable: “If you’re not No. 1 on this tour, you don’t need to go to another tour. So after I dominate this one, maybe I’ll try it, but it’s definitely not anywhere in my future.” – Brittany Lincicome, after being asked if, like Michelle Wie, she wants to play in PGA events.
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Bivens: "Get her agent on the phone. And book a photographer, too"
Assistant: "Ms. Bivens, don't forget to actually congratulate her on the win. And wipe the dollar signs out of your eyes."
After being asked if she has any plans to play in the PGA, like Wie-WEE, she commented: "If you're not No. 1 on this (LPGA) tour, you don't need to go to another tour. So after I dominate this one, maybe I'll try it, but it's definitely not anywhere in my future."
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