BMW Championship is taylor made for a TiVo-filled nation

The biggest show in golf this week is happening at the Wentworth Club in Surrey, England – as the best of Europe is battling it out at the BMW Championship.

The Golf Channel, bless their hearts, are dedicating three hours a day – from 10 a.m. until 1 p.m. on Thursday-Friday and 9:30 a.m. until 12:30 p.m. over the weekend. Times are EST.

Most U.S. golf fans will be able to catch a good chunk of the event, albeit at some minor discomfort, especially for West Coast fans. So while the time elements will make it impossible to show all the action at the BMW Championship and force televised action to be shown earlier than desired, at least we’re getting most the tournament and should get all the good stuff.

But that’s not enough for me. See, if you’re anything like me, you want everything, you want it now, and you don’t want any lip about it. Luckily, in this great era of “spend, spend more, print some more money, spend that” all we really have to do is ask.

Which is why I propose a $30 billion (-ish) bill to Congress to purchase every man, woman and child their own individual TiVo system. This way, we can all see what we want to see, when we want to see it, regardless of whether it’s Europeans golfing, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” or the “Naked Women’s Wrestling League” (I try to include something for everyone when possible).

The bill will also include a $250,000 addendum to continue research that transforms pure “Evil” into a viable fuel substitute. This guarantees full support of both parties, as no one will want to risk the wrath of a potential “Sen. Soldoutster supports EVIL!” ad campaign.

And if that’s not enough to assure smooth passage of this bill, let me just say this – I know some people at some pretty nice golf courses, if you know what I mean.

Plus, think of the positives for all. First, no one will want to leave their TV, and you can be sure it won’t be to see C-Span. Face it, get us TiVo, toss us some grammes of soma and that should be the last you hear from us.

This is how strongly I feel about the quality of the BMW Championship. With Ernie Els, Retief Goosen, Colin Montgomerie, Michael Campbell, etc., etc., all playing, it’s worth it. Irresponsible spending actually lowers debt, or so we seem to have been led to believe. So lets spend on stuff we can all get something out of.

Now on with the programming.

–WKW