Golfer Supremacy Rankings: C'mon in, we mention Michelle Wie at least twice

Here at the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, if just one person appreciates what we do, well, that’s one more than we expected.

Golfer Supremacy Rankings

1. Jim Furyk

Comments: A while ago I came to the realization that Mr. Show actor/comedian Tom Kenny is a doppelganger for Furyk. I just needed to wait for Furyk to notch a win or go on a crime spree or something so I could bring it up. As he is prone to do, Furyk came through with a victory at the Wachovia Championship. Furyk’s awesome and Kenny will play him in the movie Jim Furyk’s the Man.

Combined, Kenny (left) and Furyk
have more forehead than Christina Ricci

2. Christie Kerr

Comments: Kerr strung together four sub-70 rounds to hold off Lorena Ochoa and win the Franklin American Mortgage Championship. In other, more important news to fans of women’s golf, Michelle Wie had the fish on her flight home from South Korea.

3. Joe Ogilvie

Comments: Ogilvie had a balanced weekend that saw get busted for a DUI then finish tied for 26th at the Wachovia Championship, earning $46,620. Sadly for Ogilvie, John Daly’s antics make getting a DUI before a tournament seem like tithing. Officially, the only way we’ll be shocked now is if someone actually finds a way to get a DUI during a PGA tournament.

4. Jong Koo Yoo

Comments: At the SK Telecom Open, Yoo was one of many male golfers that couldn’t beat a girl. What a bunch of Eugene Palumbos.

5. Billy Payne

Comments: Unable to find anyone named Bucky or Scooter to replace Hootie Johnson, Billy was chosen as the new chairman of the Augusta National Golf Club and the Masters. No word if Payne is planning to add another 1,000 yards to the Augusta National layout or whether he’ll put a utility wedge upside the head of any woman that wants to join, but he must be aware that his new job will give him plenty of critics.

“It’s kind of like being president,” Davis Love III said. “No matter what you do, half the people are going to think you did it wrong.”

Reached for comment, President Bush admitted it was a goal of his to someday have only half the people thinking he was doing things wrong.

Random factoid: Tom Kenny provides the voice for SpongeBob SquarePants.

Random factoid II: While you read this blog, Retief Goosen hit four more balls into the water on the 18th hole at Quail Hollow.

–WKW