Golfer Supremacy Rankings won't stop to bungee jump

When God created the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, he got distracted about halfway through and started working on the duck-billed platypus. Neither really worked out the way He wanted.

The lesson: Concentrate on the job at hand.

Golfer Supremacy Rankings

1. Tiger Woods

Comments: An incredible week for the world’s No. 1 golfer saw him win a celebrity auto race, attend his caddie’s wedding and bungee jump from 440 feet. All this came after Tiger announced that he’d have to seriously cut back on his golf schedule because of his dad’s illness. At least he will now that the Tavistock Cup is done.

Reports that Tiger plans to quit golf to fulfill his father’s dream of playing goalie for the Detroit Red Wings remain unconfirmed. But am I the only one getting the feeling we’ve seen all this before with a guy who started feeling unfulfilled by dunking basketballs?

2. Stuart Appleby

Comments: Appleby was phenomenal in Houston, going Mickelson on the Redstone Tournament Course. In doing so, Appleby won for the second time this season, marking six times an Australian has won on the PGA Tour this year.

To celebrate, here’s a picture Aussie golfer Anna Rawson:

Girls, remember to get checked for scoliosis.

3. Annika Sorenstam

Comments: Annika’s puzzling face plant at the Florida’s Natural Charity Championship gave Sung Ah Yim her first career LPGA victory. Yim joins Joo Mi Kim and Meena Lee as South Korean winners on the LPGA Tour this season.

Don’t feel like a bad person if Annika’s is the only name you can remember out of all the above. And realize that somewhere Jan Stephenson is screaming “Didn’t I tell you so?!?!”

Of course, she’s also looking for her next plastic surgery fix:

Jan Stephenson always
has a smile at the ready.

4. Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano

Comments: Fernandez-Castano won the Asian Open at Tomson Shanghai Pudong Golf Club in China over the weekend, besting Henrik Stenson.

“I played my typical Spanish golf and it worked,” said Fernandez-Castano, whose name could not be more Latin unless he stuck a “Lopez-Rodriguez” somewhere in the middle of it.

A great win for Fernandez-Castano, his second in less than a year as he positions himself to become everything Sergio Garcia was supposed to be.

5. Jay Haas

Comments: Thus far in 2006, Haas has teed it up three times on the PGA Tour, making one cut and earning about $10K. Haas won the Champions Tour’s Liberty Mutual Legends at the Westin Savannah Harbor Golf Resort and Spa in Georgia, this weekend, pocketing $395,000, giving him more than $600,000 this year, and inspiring this phrase:

“America, where we treat our old people like crap, unless they used to be good at golf.”

Random Factoid: Calories and carbs in Applebee’s “Riblets with sauce, beans, coleslaw and fries” entree:

Calories………2,207
Total Fat…….130 g
Saturated Fat…42 g
Cholesterol…..390 mg
Sodium……….2,228 mg
Carbohydrates…106 g
Protein………103 g
Potassium…….2,452 mg

–WKW