Archives for: April 2006

Did China invent golf? The truth is we don't care

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In China, where they will do everything but devalue the yuan to prove that they actually invented everything, they have opened an exhibit that gives evidence to its claim that golf was, in fact, invented by the Chinese, not the Scottish. The exhibit,… more »

Secret Service keeps Bill Clinton from golf-filled, rocket-exploding Las Vegas romp with porn star

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President Bill Clinton had his rigid club with its long, hard shaft armed and ready. Porn star Sophia Rossi was nearby, waiting for that 18-inch rocket to fill her sky with explosives. Then two sexy, armed men in sunglasses showed up. "We cannot have… more »

Storybook weekend for Dakoda Dowd shines light on breast cancer awareness

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The LPGA's upcoming Ginn Clubs & Resorts Open at Reunion Resort in Orlando, Fla., truly challenged my cynical mind. The story there is all about 13-year-old Dakoda Dowd, a golf prodigy who received a sponsor's exemption. The story gets even deeper… more »

Golfer Supremacy Rankings won't stop to bungee jump

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When God created the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, he got distracted about halfway through and started working on the duck-billed platypus. Neither really worked out the way He wanted. The lesson: Concentrate on the job at hand. Golfer Supremacy Ranki… more »

Australians: drunk, beautiful and dominant in Houston

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As an American, my knowledge of Australia is rudimentary and based mainly on things I've seen on TV. Australian guys ("mates") are good with knives, ala Crocodile Dundee. Australian women are fabulously hot like Elle Macpherson and Nicole Kidman (Kidm… more »

Golf-ball finding dog has them dying of cuteness in South Wales

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So often here everything we write gets someone angry. Case in point: a recent column I wrote for Magazine. The basic premise of the column was that in the last few weeks, golfers from David Toms to Tiger Woods to Aaron Baddeley have been… more »

UFC 59 leads to thoughts on the toughest golfer

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A while back, I did a magazine story on the Ultimate Fighting Championship and got the chance to meet and speak to several high-profile fighters. So when I saw UFC 59, it was great to see some of the guys I spoke with battle it out. Especially good t… more »

Golfer Supremacy Rankings: Where God and golf aren't a Mission Impossible

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The Golfer Supremacy Rankings are open to all religions, faiths and creeds. Especially Scientologists, who are by far the most creative and funny people out there. Seriously, Scientologists, we're all laughing at you. Now get out there and make some m… more »

Acting like a bloody wanker, Tiger Woods spaz's out and offends England's handicapped

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When Tiger Woods called himself a "spaz" on Sunday at Augusta National, it was a pretty adequate description of his putting. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines the word as "clumsy or inept." If you watched Tiger's travai… more »

Chris Baldwin's all-male golf club stance a common sense answer to a nation with too many laws

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Reading Chris Baldwin's column on the all-male golf club in Arizona, I was hit dead on with the imagery of Baldwin in the late 1970s, coming back from an interview with Jim Jones saying things like: "Oh, he's not so bad. He's working on this punch th… more »

'Armed and inebriated' plus 'high-ranking Punjab police at golf course' equals frivolity

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We work long hours here, trying to make the world a better place through golf. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but in the end we feel good that we show people that even though cultures can be different, the game of golf can bring us all togethe… more »

Golfer Supremacy Rankings reward Tiger Woods for his 2007 Masters victory

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Occasionally even the Golfer Supremacy Rankings are incorrectly tabulated, which means just one thing -- we need to change the rules until we're right again. That being said, the anticlimax that was the Masters has shaken things up on the GSR's, and a… more »

Heading to the weekend, Masters leaderboard is all class

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Like the LPGA before them, the PGA's first major of the year has the looks of a thriller. After the second round at the Masters, on top of things is Chad Campbell, who after a torrid start has been consistent throughout the year, including beating Tig… more »

Tiger Woods will win the Masters -- Guaranteed

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After the first round at the Masters, things are looking as they should on the leaderboard. Vijay Singh put together a sizzling opening round, putting to rest the "Is he playing too much" question for the time being. Phil Mickelson, Retief Goosen and… more »

The Golf Space brings something new to the Internet and golfers

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First came the Internet, and the ability to transfer information. And it was good. Then the porn came. Lots and lots of porn. And people said that was bad, but most of them were lying and are still thrilled about it, and wondering who to thank. In bet… more »