In China, where they will do everything but devalue the yuan to prove that they actually invented everything, they have opened an exhibit that gives evidence to its claim that golf was, in fact, invented by the Chinese, not the Scottish. The exhibit, at Beijing’s Great Hall of the People, shows paintings of nobles playing a golf-esque gamed. To the Chinese, these paintings – which are up to 700 years old – are proof that golf is the descendant of their ancient game of Chuiwan. The main reason we can discount China’s claims is that historical truth is more or less meaningless, ...

President Bill Clinton had his rigid club with its long, hard shaft armed and ready. Porn star Sophia Rossi was nearby, waiting for that 18-inch rocket to fill her sky with explosives. Then two sexy, armed men in sunglasses showed up. “We cannot have you shooting rockets at President Clinton,” a Secret Service agent told the party of Rossi, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Turns out that Clinton was golfing at Las Vegas Country Club, while Rossi was holding a birthday party at her home nearby for her 5-year-old daughter. The little girl had a remote-control rocket that they were preparing ...

The LPGA’s upcoming Ginn Clubs & Resorts Open at Reunion Resort in Orlando, Fla., truly challenged my cynical mind. The story there is all about 13-year-old Dakoda Dowd, a golf prodigy who received a sponsor’s exemption. The story gets even deeper when you realize that Dakoda’s mother is dying of breast cancer. Initially I looked at this event with cynicism. Perhaps it seemed too contrived at first. I even came up with a cynical line that I liked: “Dakoda’s little brother Smurfy is unfortunately unable to attend as the factory he works at won’t give him the time off.” That’s just wrong, isn’t ...

When God created the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, he got distracted about halfway through and started working on the duck-billed platypus. Neither really worked out the way He wanted. The lesson: Concentrate on the job at hand. Golfer Supremacy Rankings 1. Tiger Woods Comments: An incredible week for the world’s No. 1 golfer saw him win a celebrity auto race, attend his caddie’s wedding and bungee jump from 440 feet. All this came after Tiger announced that he’d have to seriously cut back on his golf schedule because of his dad’s illness. At least he will now that the Tavistock Cup is done. Reports that Tiger ...

As an American, my knowledge of Australia is rudimentary and based mainly on things I’ve seen on TV. Australian guys ("mates") are good with knives, ala Crocodile Dundee. Australian women are fabulously hot like Elle Macpherson and Nicole Kidman (Kidman losing points, however, for being married to Tom Cruise, who is appearing creepier and creepier). Elle Macpherson is absolute proof that Australians are all fantastically beautiful I’ve also heard that Australia is a great place for a young American to go because, by and large, most Australian men are perpetually drunk, so the women are usually lonely. Of course, this is but a nasty ...

So often here everything we write gets someone angry. Case in point: a recent column I wrote for WorldGolf.com Magazine. The basic premise of the column was that in the last few weeks, golfers from David Toms to Tiger Woods to Aaron Baddeley have been saying some unscripted and off-the-cuff things – and that I think that’s great and hope they continue. That somehow led to this comment from “Dick” (if that is his real name): “Why don’t you kiss Tiger’s ring and get on with it, according to you he can do no wrong, everyone else sucks, well, I think you ...

A while back, I did a magazine story on the Ultimate Fighting Championship and got the chance to meet and speak to several high-profile fighters. So when I saw UFC 59, it was great to see some of the guys I spoke with battle it out. Especially good to see was Tim Sylvia getting a spectacular win over Andrei Arlovski. Sylvia’s an interesting, thoughtful guy, like the majority of UFC fighters. You heard it here from someone who has known a few: fighters (boxers, UFC, etc.) tend to be the most personable, interesting people you’ll meet in sports. So, in the ...

The Golfer Supremacy Rankings are open to all religions, faiths and creeds. Especially Scientologists, who are by far the most creative and funny people out there. Seriously, Scientologists, we’re all laughing at you. Now get out there and make some movies. Golfer Supremacy Rankings 1. David Toms Comments: Toms earns the top spot in this week’s GSR’s for showing that even golfers can say really dumb things. His comments regarding the Masters did very little to remove the stereotype that golfers are over-pampered brats: “It’s the only place all year where the players don’t feel like they’re the most important thing there,” said Toms ...

When Tiger Woods called himself a “spaz” on Sunday at Augusta National, it was a pretty adequate description of his putting. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines the word as “clumsy or inept.” If you watched Tiger’s travails on the greens at the Masters, you’d be forced to agree. Unfortunately, far away, where they speak a similar language to the U.S., the Scope, a UK charity for cerebral palsy sufferers, has let it be known they’re outraged. Of course, this group was once called the Spastic Society, so they shouldn’t be casting any stones. Anyway, England’s upset that an ...

Reading Chris Baldwin’s column on the all-male golf club in Arizona, I was hit dead on with the imagery of Baldwin in the late 1970s, coming back from an interview with Jim Jones saying things like: “Oh, he’s not so bad. He’s working on this punch that’s just going to be delicious.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not calling Baldwin a murdering-cultist-nutjob sympathizer, I’m just saying that thus far everyone from Justin Timberlake to Rush Limbaugh to naked No Doubt drummer Adrian Young has charmed him. Basically, to get in Baldwin’s good graces, all you really need to do talk to ...

We work long hours here, trying to make the world a better place through golf. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but in the end we feel good that we show people that even though cultures can be different, the game of golf can bring us all together. Of course, it can comically tear us all apart, as well. From the Tribune in Chandigarh, India: “Five unidentified persons, claiming to be the top echelon of the Punjab police, accompanied by AK 47 wielding gunmen, went to the Golf Range, run by the Chandigarh Golf Association (CGA), and after having a lot of ...

Occasionally even the Golfer Supremacy Rankings are incorrectly tabulated, which means just one thing – we need to change the rules until we’re right again. That being said, the anticlimax that was the Masters has shaken things up on the GSR’s, and a female teenager has broken finally broken through with a big victory to get the respect she deserves. Golfer Supremacy Rankings 1. Tiger Woods Comments: His guaranteed 2007 Masters triumph will be so overwhelming; we have no choice but to rank him No. 1 right now. 2. Song-Hee Kim Comments: Kim became the youngest female touring pro to win a professional tournament ...

Like the LPGA before them, the PGA’s first major of the year has the looks of a thriller. After the second round at the Masters, on top of things is Chad Campbell, who after a torrid start has been consistent throughout the year, including beating Tiger Woods at the Match Play Championship. A major victory for Campbell puts him in a whole new category, and his current category is pretty good. After Campbell, it’s all class. A rejuvenated Fred Couples, Vijay Singh, Ernie Els, Phil Mickelson, Retief Goosen, Woods, and more with a reasonable shot to make a run. Heck, even Ben ...

After the first round at the Masters, things are looking as they should on the leaderboard. Vijay Singh put together a sizzling opening round, putting to rest the “Is he playing too much” question for the time being. Phil Mickelson, Retief Goosen and Fred Couples came in under par and are off to solid starts. But five strokes back after a somewhat frustrating day is Tiger Woods. But really, an even-par start is all Tiger needed. He’ll take the lead Saturday, and pile it on Sunday for his latest Masters triumph. Guaranteed. Remember to come back here and praise me Monday, OK? –WKW

First came the Internet, and the ability to transfer information. And it was good. Then the porn came. Lots and lots of porn. And people said that was bad, but most of them were lying and are still thrilled about it, and wondering who to thank. In between the information and the porn, however, since the Internet became available, people have used it as a place to congregate. Web sites like MySpace and Orkut created huge communities where people could find like-minded cyber pals. As these sites did nothing to curb the endless torrent of porn, everyone seemed to agree these sites ...

Being a good blogger is like being good at oral sex. Sure, it’s something that gives you pride, but so few people are aware of your skills. Which explains why so many bloggers are forced to find other means of employment. Chris Baldwin, for instance, works in manure factory as a taster. Heather McMichael reads to the blind. We all do what we can to get by, so that we may continue our blogging ways. Like Luke Swilor, who moonlights as a professional golfer when not writing in his blog “Luke Swilor’s Road to the Tour.” I recently spoke with Swilor for a ...

Watching Barry Bonds get a syringe thrown at him last night in the San Francisco Giants’ Opening Day game in San Diego, I was struck with the thought that now would be a good time to invest in syringe manufacturing. Fans will be throwing syringes at Bonds all season, because baseball rarely does much to contain its criminals. Golf, however, is not a sport to be trifled with. Ask Tom DeLay. Yes, DeLay, the man who fattened himself and his family on free trips to top golf courses around the world on someone else’s dime, is to resign from the U.S. House of ...

One day, when sanity prevails, the Golfer Supremacy Rankings will be the only rankings with any real importance. Until then, we here at the GSR’s keep plugging away, ignoring criticism and bad reviews. Just like David Lee Roth. If David Lee Roth won’t quit neither will the GSR’s. Golfer Supremacy Rankings 1. Tiger Woods: Comments: For his upcoming, five-stroke victory at the Masters, Woods is on top of the GSR’s. Enough with the 60 Minutes interviews, though. Tiger’s interesting because he wins, but overall, no one who practices golf eight hours a day is all that interesting. Wait. He’s interesting because he has a ridiculously ...