Golfer Supremacy Rankings see Ames, Van de Velde get last laugh

The Golfer Supremacy Rankings constantly come under fire from other golf rankings, who accuse the GSR of not taking many vital factors into consideration.

Remember one important thing, however: other golf rankings are stupid.

That being said, there are some huge developments on this week’s Golfer Supremacy Rankings.

Golfer Supremacy Rankings

1. Stephen Ames

Comments: Ames talked tough to Tiger Woods at the Match Play Championships and got his butt handed back to him, 9 to 8. Many pundits waited patiently for Ames to politely dig a hole and die, but the Trinidad native didn’t seem to get the memo. By obliterating the field at the Players Championship, Ames gets much tougher to make fun of, and much more interesting to listen to.

2. Jean Van de Velde

Comments: Another staple of a golf writer’s diet, Van de Velde kept himself under control with a double-bogey on the 18th to win the Madeira Island Open. It was Van de Velde’s first European victory in more than 12 years. Sadly for the Frenchman, it was only the Madeira Island Open, and he almost choked that away, also. He continues to be fair game for the mocking.

3. Michelle Wie

Comment: How many 16-year-old girls are in high school home ec class and have Rush Limbaugh making comments about them? At least one. She also got to meet Condolezza Rice, yet another triumph of marketing.

“I was like, if I crash, the secretary of state goes down with me,” said Wie.

4. Tiger Woods

Comments: So what that he finished tied for 22nd in the Players Championship? He was on 60 Minutes! He plans on being a good dad with his perfect, Elin-generated children. He stuttered as a child! He’s not an anima-tronic machine, he’s real!

5. Davis Love III

Comments: A 65 followed by an 83? That hasn’t even happened before, that’s how spectacular that performance was. Maybe it was the last we’ll see of Love as a contender, but I doubt it. The truly boring never seem to disappear. Ask Tom Kite.

Random Factoid: If one thing in this crazy, mixed-up world can be considered a fact, it’s this: If you’re interviewed by Chris Baldwin, he will love you. He will gladly sell out his manhood to worship at the alter of Justin Timberlake, while doing back flips over Rush Limbaugh ("I’m the only one at TravelGolf.com who actually saw how Limbaugh treated people at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic.").

If you’re a Michelle Wie fan, I suggest you get Baldwin an interview with her, afterward, he’ll be her No. 1 fan ("She’s soooo nice, and her watch is awesome!") Until then, you’ll just have to make due with Baldwin’s upcoming interview with Osama bin Laden ("He treats children so nicely! He autographs strands of his beard for them. He’s just really dedicated to his beliefs is all, you don’t know him like I know him!")

–WKW