Desert tortoise, Californians to keep golf community away from tumbleweeds

The biggest problem the state of California has had to face over the years is that it’s populated by too many Californians.

Case in point: a recent proposal for a 1,200-lot golf community in the Southern California desert town of Joshua Tree. As the community will be near the 800,000-acre Joshua Tree National Park, many residents are up in arms over the possibility of putting a human activity anywhere near the scorched-earth park.

Nicole Panter, a former Los Angeles punk rock band manager made her feelings clear to the Desert Sun.

“I’m articulate and I can’t even give you the words to tell you what sitting in that park makes me feel,” Panter told the Desert Sun, prior to scarfing down three boxes of delicious Zingers. “It would be like trying to describe what being in love feels like.”

The national park is roughly 1.5 times the size of the state of Rhode Island and is home to wildlife like the desert tortoise, ants, tumbleweeds and other things that thrive in triple-digit heat. Supporters want to keep the park as is, and have already complained that people have infringed on the wildlife of the area.

Meanwhile, the 33 million people that call California their home all simultaneously shrugged their shoulders and said “Hey, we have to go somewhere,” regardless of the fact that the Joshua Tree area barely tops prison as a dream vacation destination for the majority of Californians.

Local officials have been consistent in turning down development deals throughout the years, so one would imagine the new golf community will be forced to look for a new home, while the desert tortoise will continue to frolic about in that irritatingly slow and overconfident way it has developed since it suckered people into fighting for its cause.

So Joshua Tree and the surrounding sleepy desert area surrounding it should remain the same. At least for another 20 years or so, until the area, park and all, is completely overwhelmed by more wildlife – Californians.

–WKW