Making cut after wife arrested, merchandise stolen, makes John Daly an authentic knucklehead
There’s a fine line between being a sideshow, and being an entertaining knucklehead.
Recently, my thoughts have gone from wondering why PGA Tour players are as dull as David Feherty’s wit (referencing Rosie O’Donnell and Richard Simmons in 2006? Why not throw in some Fatty Arbuckle references while you’re at it?), to speculating on the PGA’s Hey-Everyone-Let’s-Pimp-Michelle-Wie Program.
To me, I’d just like to see professional golfers be themselves. I’m bored with talented pros sucking up to corporations by refusing to speak their minds, and I’m disinterested in the same corporations telling me who I should find interesting.
Luckily, John Daly is still around. Because if Daly didn’t exist, someone would try to invent him, and they’d totally botch the job.
This week has been a perfect example why golf, if not the universe as a whole, still desperately needs John Daly. First, his wife – wait, let me recast that – his fourth wife, is busted by federal agents and whisked away to serve six months in jail for money laundering, drugs and gambling.
Now that the menace that is John Daly’s fourth wife has been taken care of, reports are that all federal efforts will be on getting that darned Osama. Or at least his No. 3 guy.
Then, thieves took off with a trailer containing $50,000 in Daly merchandise, sparking this angry retort from Daly’s merchandise manager, Blake Allison:
“If they bring the trailer back unharmed with all the merchandise in it, he wouldn’t file charges,” Allison said. “He’d even sign a couple of hats for ‘em.”
So while his image does float toward cartoon-ish at times, and while his reality show could very well be a sign modern society is doomed, whether you like him or not, Daly is untouchable. The reason: five career PGA wins, including two majors.
Maybe some think he should have won more, but he’s won enough to tell his critics to shut the heck up. And while his act may not shock anyone any longer, to his many fans, he’s still one entertaining knucklehead. And he does it by just being himself.
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Your family has been invited on the Jerry Springer show.
You might be a knucklehead if...
You can out drink an elephant.
You might be a knucklehead if..
You make the rest of the world feel good about their own family lives'.
God Bless John Daly.
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