A golfing debut with 11 aces makes Kim Jong Il the top Korean

After reading Jennifer Mario’s absolutely gushing blog about South Korean golfers dominating the LPGA’s Office Depot Championship, I realized something needed to be done to present a more balanced picture of Korea.

I mean sure, South Korea has great athletes, doctors, scientists and whatever other types of professionals Koreans need. Sure the South Koreans have food and freedom. But North Korea has something that totally wipes them off the map (figuratively, not literally, at least as I’m writing this).

The Great Leader, the Sun of the Nation and of Mankind: Kim Jong Il.

Put aside any notions you may have about the man. Put aside his lust for nukes, a penchant to torture and starve his people and the funky glasses. These things are irrelevant.

The simple fact is this: Kim Jong Il is the greatest golfer in the history of, well, history.

According to North Korea’s crack research department, the diminutive dictator shot a 34 his first time golfing. And no, not at mini-golf, at a championship, par-72 course. He drilled home 11 holes-in-one in his miraculous 34-under round and reportedly still shoots in the low 50s, though at 60-plus years of age, his holes in ones are down to four or five a round.

So cheer on the South Korean women if you like, just remember that to the north there is a golfer that can handily beat them all. Or at least he would if he could get his hands on them.

– WKW