Weekend Rules: Should a golf ball to the nose lead to criminal charges, breast augmentation?

Golf is very well regulated, which is good, for if it weren’t a simple golf tee would considered a dangerous weapon and be taxed accordingly, making a bag of 100 tees cost upward of $78,000.

With that in mind, welcome to the Weekend Rules, where today we’ll be looking at if golf etiquette can be considered a legal issue.

Today’s Scenario:

Lance Fingley III, CEO of EndlessProfits Inc is behind some trees in a small gully on the fairway. Being the omnipotent master of industry that he is, he doesn’t bother to yell “Fore!” when he hits a screaming hook into the next fairway.

Unfortunately, Granny CommonWoman is in the next fairway, obliviously looking at a sweet bird waiting for her turn to hit. Fingley’s ball hits her dead in the nose.

Granny’s down!! Granny’s down!!

Ok, don’t worry. Granny gets up, has some reconstructive surgery, getting some fabulous 38dd’s thrown on for “pain and suffering.” But the question is this, my friends: Aside from just stomping on one of the most basic golfing rules of etiquette, will Lance Fingley III be facing criminal and civil cases brought forward by the busty granny as a result of his callousness?

–WKW