Iowa hunters' secret jihad against golfers: Act before it's too late
That Iowa still desperately clings to the selling point that John Wayne was born there is really enough to kick them out of the Union, in my opinion. But recently, Iowans everywhere are showing a graphic display of anti-golfer behavior that one wouldn’t expect from people who live in the same state as the world’s largest strawberry.
Oh, call me an alarmist if you will, but it’s time golfers everywhere faced the growing menace that is Iowa.
To wit: A recent City Council meeting in the thriving metropolis of Ottumwa, led to a glorious debate on whether hunters should be allowed to hunt for deer on golf courses.
“The purpose of doing this isn’t to create a nice environment for hunters, it’s to harvest the deer and reduce the population. If you don’t allow hunting on the golf course you can’t harvest as many deer,” said City Administrator Steve Rasmussen.
As it turns out, a group of hunters have been pushing to hunt on golf courses because “there are plenty of deer that hang around the tree lines and dine on the grass.”
Perhaps Ottumwa is just completely overrun with deer, but I didn’t see anybody asking about whether shooting golfers was cool or not. I demand answers. Because, my friends, it starts out with a 38-handicapper getting capped in Ottumwa, and will end with Phil Mickelson getting landmined at Pebble Beach.
Scoff if you will, but that’s how these things happen. Have you noticed anyone playing handball in the last 10 years? Think about it.
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Yes the deer population in Iowa is growing at a alarming rate. And yes we do have many golfer's and golf course's in our John Wayne state. You need to understand that these "specail deer" seasons take place during the winter months when the golf courses are closed down due to the inclimate weather in our northern state. I can't think of the last time that I saw a golfer during the month of Dec. or Jan. out on the greens in the snow or below zero temps. Have you ?
Also think of it this way too... without the deer hunters. Your precious little deer would be eating the bushes, shrubs and trees that line you preety little fairways.
PS... Just too let you know. I also hunt geese during off of one local golf course. The greens keeper jumped at the opportunity to let me hunt stinkin' bird droppin' grass destroyin' varmits so as to keep the golf course lookin' pretty for you so called sportsman.
So please, the next time you want to "complain" about us true "Outdoorsman". Think about the service we are doing for you in keeping your little playgrounds free from the creatures that would ultimately distory your home away from home.
Imagine a nice 300 yard drive ruined by your ball landing in a big steaming pile of deer poop. Can you improve that lie? I don't know. Will a sand wedge work in this situation? I couldn't tell you. I guess it depends on whether the deer that left it chose to eat the azelias or the rough on hole #7.
Seriously though, since deer hunting season and playable golf weather rarely coincide in Iowa, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Also I used an assumed name... my proper name is John Wayne !
Secondly, not only do we claim John Wayne, we can also claim Johnny Carson, The Everly Brothers, Glenn Miller, Andy Williams, Cloris Leachman, Mamie Eisenhower, Donna Reed, George Gallup, Harry Reasoner, and Ashton Kutcher (Demi Moore's main squeeze). Shall I go on...? Nah, this is probably to much information for you to handle.
Oh, by the way, we have a Big 12 College, and a Big Ten college in our state. We are number on in soybeans and corn production as well a leading pork state. We house many of the nation's insurance company's as well as being home to ACT tests and the first computer ever built. Oops, sorry. I forgot you probably have the attention span of a gnat. Next time you have a mouth full of Iowa corn, please don't say stupid things with your mouth full.
Cheers from Iowa.
"Fredrick, Shall I use a 7 Iron or a 6 ?"
Thomas replies, "Well I'm not sure Fredrick, What do you think sir ?" (Looking over at the 3rd golfer in the party who happens to be from Iowa)
Big Jake Jefro proclaims: "The heck with the clubs, grab that there 12 ga. pump where the 3 Wood use to be. There's a brut hog of a 12 pointer in the rough !" BOOM !!!
"Now Thats A Wall Hanger !"
Outdoorsman and golfer
Heck, I wasn't even sure they had the Internet in Iowa.
I kid, I kid. But, just in case, I will be more careful when I come to Iowa, because no one likes the idea of having irate hunters with a grudge going after them. Of course, judging by the deer population, I'm guessing I'll be safe.
I actually used to hunt, mostly in Wyoming. I'm getting the feeling that the deer population in that area of Iowa may be as dense with deer as Wyoming is with antelope. In Wyoming you can actually just throw your rifle randomly and an antelope will fall. Sometimes they'll even field-dress themselves.
But really, the question here is not about hunters, but about the city council. I firmly believe that they could accidentily pass a resolution making it mandatory to shoot golfers.
But, hey, the Hawkeyes are a couple of weeks away from being beaten by about a billion by Ohio State, so I can understand if the entire state is somewhat tense.
"Imagine a nice 300 yard drive ruined by your ball landing in a big steaming pile of deer poop. Can you improve that lie? I don't know. Will a sand wedge work in this situation? I couldn't tell you. I guess it depends on whether the deer that left it chose to eat the azelias or the rough on hole #7."
That's just top-notch, and raises excellent points. Of course, if I somehow managed to hit a 300-yard drive, it could fall in a pile of rhino poop for all I'd care.
Gee, tense? Iowa beat Ohio State last year. Ohio State needs to be concerned, not Iowa.
Finally, don't be concerned about irate hunters shooting you. We know what is fair game and what isn't worth wasting a bullet to shoot. I filled all the tags I bought the last two years and only used two slugs. Yep, I'm the reincarnation of John Wayne...lol.
Wolfman.... The above statement by you doesn't even make sense. Whats your point ? The city counsel is trying to ensure that your pristine play grounds are kept safe and pretty from the damaging effects that the deer can bring upon them.
Obviously you truely are a moron if you can't understand the fact that there will be NO GOLFERS on the course during the months that deer season is taking place. Or do you plan on wearing a snowmobile suit and using hockey sticks for clubs ? I can see it now. The greenskeeper out on the course with his snowblower clearing the greens for morons like you. Yeah Right !
Here's where your suppose to open mouth and insert foot. You have no clue what the hell you are talking about and this article clearly shows a perfect example or your ignorance and stupidity.
John Wayne and damn proud of it.
PS... who cares about the Hawkeyes or the Buckeyes ? The Big 10 sucks anyway. No matter what team from the Big 10 makes it to a "Big" time bowl, they always blow it !
PS as a Big 12 fan, I must say I enjoyed watching Ohio State getting beaten last weekend.
I beg of all you golfers out there in the wonderful land of clubs & balls.
Please help stop the eventually slaughter of my dear brothers and sisters.
The cruel people of Iowa don't want me in the city parks and golf courses any more.
They are planning a genocide. Those Iowans want to do away with my kind.
So what if I eat a few bushes and trees. They taste better when raised inside the city limits.
And while your at it. Could you please tell them to slow down on their paved trails so I don't have to worry about getting hit by their mechanical machines while crossing to get to those beautifully landscaped golf courses.
I'm telling you. Watch out for those blood thirsty Iowans. Their KILLERS ! Each and Everyone of Them ! KILLERS !
HELP PLEASE HELP PLEASEEEEEEEEE "BOOM"
Backstraps ! Gotta love Backstraps !
Big Bad Bohunk
When will this bloodlust end?
I'll tell ya what budro... Your invited along for a goose, duck, pheasant, deer or even a coyote hunt. Seriously !!! If you want to attend your more than welcome to come along. I even have a spare gun if you want to use it. And when we are all said and done. You tell me that it didn't give you a "woody" dropping a deer knowing that you and your family were going to eat well and at the same time also doing a good deed for you fellow sportsman the golfers.
If you want to go... just email me and I will set you up.
Deer should be eaten, golf courses should be preserved, and people from Iowa should be thanked for their caucuses.
mark nessmith... hang yourself.
John Wayne (as we Iowan's have been called)
Because he lost his balls in the pond!
They should allow deer hunting on the golf course because, as many have pointed out, deer season is in the winter. And we don't have all that many golfers willing to brave the elements in order to shoot par.
I've played the course in question, many, many times. It's the municipal course (i.e., the "poor man's golf course"). It's waaaay to the north of town.
Except for a couple of holes, there are no buildings around. You have the clubhouse, the maintenance shed, and that's it. Oh, and by holes #12, #4, and #9, there are a few houses. Maybe one other hole, too. Other than that, it's wide open.
Now, if we're talking the Country Club, then there's no way they could allow hunting there. It's surrounded by nice, fancy houses and there are buildings all over the place, plus many busy roads...too dangerous. But I don't think it's having a deer problem.
My parents live out in the country, and they are being overrun with deer on a nightly basis. My dad loves to watch them, but even he realizes that something needs to be done, or there will be problems.
Here in Iowa, there are several state and county parks that are opened to deer hunting in order to keep them from being destroyed by those very creatures that many love to "watch".
The city of Iowa City has hire snipers over the past several years to accomplish this task, and statewide there have been several opportunities for hunters to kill geese within city limits. All in order to help landowners protect their own little pieces of heaven.
It's not unheard of and does a service to the nearby landowners as well as the course itself.
Research a bit before you spout off at the head, please.
Now excuse me while I go kill something .... er, ah .... I mean commune with nature.
He has yet to respond intelligently to any of the criticism.
The whole point is the courses are likely closed during hunting season anyway. There isn't much ice-golf participation in Iowa. This fact makes the whole blog childish and ridiculous.
So first of all WKW, I have a question. When was the last time you came to Iowa? And where exactly did you go? Because I can tell you as an outsider my self (I moved here from Colorado less than a year ago) I was worried. I am a responsible, ethical outdoors man, as well as a Wildlife officer in training, and I was terrified that I would run into a bunch of Beverly Hill-Billie’s out here hunting, and that one would surely kill me. But big surprise, I actually have yet to meet one. As a matter of fact, every one I have meet hunting was just as responsible and concerned about safety as I was. However, I can tell you that as with any state, there are some weirdoes here. Which is why I would advise you to be a bit more careful with what you say... Most of us are going to get pissed, leave a comment, and then let it go. But you might get lucky and have one of the TRUE nuts read it; and then you are in trouble. Further on that note, something you might want to keep in mind, pissing of a group of people who generally own at least 3-4 guns and have LOTS of friends that have the same generally is not wise. Plus angering an entire state by insulting its "hickness" and then expecting it to solve your problem: not very likely.
I can not comment on the number of courses out here, I do not care. Golf’s a waste of time to me. However, I know that golf courses are not even the beginning of where we can hunt deer. I live in Iowa City (central-eastern Iowa) and there are NUMEROUS communities around me that allow you to hunt anywhere in town. The golf course, the park, the library lawn, even peoples back yards. However, to get those types of licenses, you have to take a special safety course geared at educating the hunter on safety; both there’s and the safety of the people and objects around them. That’s all they talk about. Safe directions for shots, safe angles for shots, basic ballistics that help you predict where your bullet will hit the deer, and where it will go after wards, and just basically how to make sure you shot the deer and ONLY the deer. Also, hunters are only allowed to use archery equipment (bow and arrow for you golfers). So even if the hunter were to miss the deer, the arrow would stop with in 50-60 yards from where they shot from. And on top of that, most deer hunters out here use tree stands. So they would basically be shooting down at the ground further preventing the possibility of a stray shoot hitting someone, or something.
NOW, you mentioned it was the legislation you had a problem with. Well, first of all, as I mentioned before, any hunter hunting in an urban area is required by the state to take an EXTRA safety course. We all have to take one to hunt in the first place. So rest assured that if a city does pass legislation that allows hunters to hunt on golf courses, this and MANY other safety procedures will be in place. The city will surely close any city golf courses when a hunter will be on the course, as would a private club. Cautionary signs would be placed around the edges of the course, so that someone wouldn't simply be walking though and put themselves in danger.
Honestly, the next time you read something about Iowa, or anywhere else that makes you go "Oh my god, what a bunch of idiots", stop. Don't get on the web and right a slanderous article. Get on the web and do a little research. Find out if the idea really is as stupid as it sounds, or if the original author maybe left out a few (or a LOT in this case) of important facts. That way you do not sound like the ass hole you do now. Plus, you will not be putting you self in danger of someone reading this and being so agitated by your libel that they consider bringing you bodily harm.
If you have any other concerns or questions on hunting in general, or specifically in rural areas, I would be happy to help you understand the generals, as well as the specifics for either Colorado or Iowa (I worked and the Colorado division of wildlife and an officer and currently work with the Iowa Division of Natural Resources in training to become a Wildlife Officer.)
As for the Iowa City sharp-shooter... I was appalled to find out your right Mr. NonHunter... As the above article says, Iowa City spent nearly $300 a deer to have "White Buffalo, Inc.” (out of Connecticut) come in to the city and shoot them. In total 154 deer were shot, and $45,380 was spent (a bit lower than the original $100,000 Mr. NonHunter mentioned, but still, too much). And even though all of the meat was donated to non-profit organizations that feed the hungry, that is a lot of money. Further, I completely agree, we need to turn this expense into a revenue. I can assure you that I will be working with both the DRN and the city council to allow bow hunters to take care of the deer.
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