If Weir becomes Duval, go ahead and pave the golf courses in Canada
There’s nothing worse than putting additional pressure on a professional athlete. Oh, who am I kidding. There are plenty of things worse than that. Things like death or even a good toe stubbing.
So in that case, while doing my normal, exhaustive research on the Bell Canadian Open, I realized one important fact: If anything ever happens to Mike Weir, the entire Canadian golf industry will collapse. In fact, maybe all of Canada.
Since the tiny, island nation of Canada welcomed home Weir after winning the 2003 Masters, he has become the lifeblood of the sport. This year, with hockey sidelined, Weir was officially the only active Canadian athlete in any sport. Ok, I kid, but the guy has his own Fall fashion collection coming out at Sears. If that’s not iconic, I don’t know what is.
Weir’s off to a rocky start at the Canadian Open, and dreams of a rematch with last year’s champ Vijay Singh seem like a long shot. Canada as a nation needs to come together for some type of vigil, or traditional Canadian ritual to get Weir back to the top.
It may already be too late. After all, the guy says he’s still injured from some guy slapping him on the back last year. He’s currently 47th on the money list, about $100,000 behind the legendary Rod Pampling.
At very least, Canada needs Weir not to come down with Duval-itis and start jotting down 87s on his scorecard. Because when that day comes, it will spell doom for Canadian golf, and, more than likely, the entire nation will be overrun with hippies and anarchists. So, no pressure, Mike.
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Ok, Weir didn't make the cut, but Canada is still standing, therefore I grudgingly admit you may have a point.
And Canada needs some quirksters out on the Tour. Weir just isn't Canadian enough, for me. I want my Canuck golfers to wear beaver pelts or something.
As for theme music, something Bond-ish might work.
And Ron Mon, it's toque, not took. Or are you talking about a toke, 'cause there's plenty of that going on up here as well.
However the US Women's Mid-Am champion is what? 48 years old? We're not looking at a hope for the future with Mary Ann Lapointe.
Plus, I used to live in Alaska, so I have a good vibe for those "per-capita" things. If your population is small and mobile, you get to be No. 1 per capita in everything.
However, I can't really say a damned thing about what Lepp accomplished.
Unfortunately, he's a right-handed carbon copy of Weir, at least appearance wise. I just don't think that represents Canada correctly.
Hey, does Mark Messier play golf well? Now that would be a pro golfer that represented Canada.
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