If Weir becomes Duval, go ahead and pave the golf courses in Canada

There’s nothing worse than putting additional pressure on a professional athlete. Oh, who am I kidding. There are plenty of things worse than that. Things like death or even a good toe stubbing.

So in that case, while doing my normal, exhaustive research on the Bell Canadian Open, I realized one important fact: If anything ever happens to Mike Weir, the entire Canadian golf industry will collapse. In fact, maybe all of Canada.

Since the tiny, island nation of Canada welcomed home Weir after winning the 2003 Masters, he has become the lifeblood of the sport. This year, with hockey sidelined, Weir was officially the only active Canadian athlete in any sport. Ok, I kid, but the guy has his own Fall fashion collection coming out at Sears. If that’s not iconic, I don’t know what is.

Weir’s off to a rocky start at the Canadian Open, and dreams of a rematch with last year’s champ Vijay Singh seem like a long shot. Canada as a nation needs to come together for some type of vigil, or traditional Canadian ritual to get Weir back to the top.

It may already be too late. After all, the guy says he’s still injured from some guy slapping him on the back last year. He’s currently 47th on the money list, about $100,000 behind the legendary Rod Pampling.

At very least, Canada needs Weir not to come down with Duval-itis and start jotting down 87s on his scorecard. Because when that day comes, it will spell doom for Canadian golf, and, more than likely, the entire nation will be overrun with hippies and anarchists. So, no pressure, Mike.