Major issues: Tiger Woods will have 'em, Phil Mickelson won't in 2009

It’s finally over. Actually, it was over so long ago, the Fat Lady is hoarse from singing about the woes of 2008.

So here’s to ‘09, which I’m optimistically declaring the Year of Redemption only because I hope the last 365 days were as bad as things could ever get.

Predictions, wishes and observations for a New Year, including one my colleague Brandon Tucker also forecasts:

1. Tiger Woods WILL NOT win a major. If you want action, I still want significant odds, but call it a gut or contrarian feeling as he comes back from knee surgery. His putting has failed him lately at Augusta National, although the Masters always will be his best bet every year. Some rust will linger through the U.S. Open at Bethpage Black, and the British Open at Turnberry and PGA Championship at Hazeltine will prove redemptive for others like …

2. Phil Mickelson, who will win one of those majors. I’m guessing the U.S. Open, which Lefty desperately wants to win as a soul-cleansing of sorts for his meltdown at Winged Foot in 2006 …

3. And Sergio Garcia, the reigning Best Player Yet to Win a Major, who will finally abdicate the title. He nearly won at Bethpage Black a few years ago, so the U.S. Open is a possibility. He’s been in contention several times at the PGA Championship. But I’m giving Garcia the British Open, reversing his recent heartbreaks there …

4. A former SWAT cop turned trans-gender female will never again win the RE/MAX World Long Drive Championship. Lana Lawless (get it, Law-less?) upset Phillis Medi of New Zealand, the acclaimed queen of the long ball, by only four yards in October. Lana, who weighed 245 pounds as a man, told reporters a 40 mph headwind helped him, er, her beat Medi, who has a higher ball flight. Don’t worry ladies, once the estrogen really kicks in and the wind from the controversy dies down, the trans-genders don’t have a chance …

5. Speaking of second (or eighth) chances, we just learned John Daly is on suspension for six months. Who could tell, since all his exemptions have run out and his career has essentially been reduced to a circus act? This would be true redemption: Daly quits drinkin’ and gamblin’ – both of which he does badly – and joins an evangelical sect.

Think about it, John … you can make way more money preachin’ than being the bad boy.