Dave Hill had some great lines for a bad golf courses

Dave Hill’s comments are legendary to this day.

Whenever I play a golf course that I’m not particularly fond of, I like to recite the late Dave Hill. For the most part, I typically earn a lot of laughter for using the quotes (or should I say one-liners).

Here is the background: After playing the opening round of the 1970 U.S. Open at Hazeltine, which was played in a 40 mph wind where Nicklaus, Palmer and Player all failed to break 79, Hill supposedly had a few vodkas before addressing journalists. One American writer told me that Hill rehearsed his quotes to laughter in the locker room before the press conference (supposedly, Palmer complained that Hill stole his lines afterward).
Here are my favorite quotes and ones I like to use:

When Hill was asked “how did you find the course?” he answered “I’m still looking for it.”

When asked what the course lacked, he replied: “Eighty acres of corn and a few cows. They ruined a good farm when they built this course.”

He wasn’t very fond of the 8th hole either, saying “My two boys could come up with a better hole than that one.”

He concluded by stating that the course “ought to be plowed up.”

Hill also claimed “If I had to play this course every day for fun, I’d find me another game.”

Bob Rosburg once joked, “there are so many doglegs, I think Lassie did it.”

When Hill was approached by the USGA and asked “What has the USGA ever done against you?” Hill replied: “They put the tournament on this course.” Hill also said something like “Just because you put flags in the ground doesn’t mean that you have a golf course.”

If you play a golf course that you dislike and you want to entertain your playing partners, these statements are the way to go!